Power of Positive Thinking?

I have increased to a larger font size and using color because I can't see what I am writing. Either my nose has to touch the screen or the keyboard is beyond arm's length. This is it, hot flashes, can't read, ache before you get out of bed in the morning - ache when you get in the bed at night...I will take it, thank you very much. I will take every moment of it and I will take more.  Bring it! What you got? Neuro-surgery, I'm getting over it. 17 years of lupus, I'll take 38 more! Bring it! I have been writing chapter 1 of my thesis. Been writing for a week. It sucks. I am a good writer but my brain still tires quickly and forgets quickly - that is OK! Bring it! I have plans.  I have plans and I am going to make those plans become reality - you know why? Because I think I can.  Just like that Little Engine That Could or The Ant Getting Up The Hill - See, this is how I see it.  It would be easy for me to lie down, give up, give in - I spent a few days in that pity pool, I don't like it there. I gained 30 pounds (can you even picture me at this weight? I am fat! Me, Lisa - Lisa does not do fat!) Writing this thesis is going to challenge every cell left in my brain - I will use every one.  Don't tell me I am only using 10% of my brain power, baby, I am using every cell I have. Can't move my head for this crick in my neck, OK, get the ice pack - heating pad on my lower back.  Soak my feet in some lavender water - I know your wondering why my feet hurt when I am writing a paper; I don't know why but my puppies are barking.  I have a plan.  There are forces in this universe, forces which believe they have power of me.  Not true; Oh sure, right now I have this paper, and Dr. appointments, and letters from lawyers, no paycheck, and a quarter million dollars in hospital bills - all my credit cards are maxed; Know what? It is going to be just fine! I see myself sitting in on a rocking swing, drinking a tall glass of cool lemonade.  I see myself riding a snowmobile over a field of white snow.  I see myself thumping a four wheeler over bumps until my teeth chatter.  I see my book being completed, maybe even published - I see my family and my friends coming to my house to share a good meal and hours of laughter.  I see a roaring fire, and my loyal dog, and a quiet game of Monopoly with Poopy Sister, and I am winning! This is what I see. This is what I believe! I am positive of this. You know why? Because I am loved. God and Jesus, yes they love me - but I am loved by a lot of people.  Do you know how powerful that is.  My Poopy Sister would walk from Texas to California if she believed I needed her here.  Eileen will cry ten million tears when I pour her glass of lemonade.  Frank, well Frank is going to help me put up my wood for the winter - he has a bad back, but he loves me. Do you know that people who have never met me pray for me? Jayne T' is my friend, June knows I need to come home, Aunt Dawn is going to take me to Coles Creek. I don't even know where that is. Mrs. Murphy has a room ready for me - Patty has a room ready for me. Lynn called me last week just to see if I needed to shop. She called me yesterday to check dates she could take me to the doctors. Annalee texts me every morning - Maggie and Lori say hello - From Shari in Hawaii, Michelle in NC, Jessie down the street, On Saturday I went to a wedding - before the bride left on her honeymoon she thanked me for coming. Who does that? Liz has taken me to doctor after doctor, she has frequent flyer miles at the local pharmacy, my doctor sees me anytime I call; Go ahead credit card companies keep calling, got nothing for ya', sorry. What I have is this moment, and I have plans - though I have work to finish, soon I will have completed these tasks and then I will need to buy some lemons. I am loved. Donald calls people, asking them to call me to see if I need help - My God has blessed me and I am sorry for every second I felt sorry for myself - Poopy, Eileen, Bug A Boo, June, stop worrying - It has come to me that the future is mine, it is ours, we have a lot of living to do. Nashville, Tennessee - Mount Rushmore, a cruise - there is stuff to do and we are going to do it.  You know I am stubborn! I don't, I won't let all of these circumstances stop me - they have taken enough of me; Just a little more time...we just have to get through a little more time, then we will celebrate every moment for all the days. Believe it! Believe it! We have the power - Love is the fuel, hope is our road - It is moving time, time to move on, move forward - clean out that backpack - it is going to happen all because I am loved! WOW! How powerful, how humbling, how empowering - just a little more work - then it is all good.