What Scares Me...

After watching the VP debate last night - it sort of hit me. Neither of these people really are going to make a difference in my life. Neither of the presidential candidates give a rat's ass about me. I struggle to make ends meet, month after month, if I stopped working and just threw in the towel I would get help. If I made bad choices, or ran up credit card debt - I could get help. I have health insurance which denies me services, if I had medicaid or medical I would have better coverage. I don't know if I am middle America, probably a little below that level...I am just tired of hearing the same lame blame game as politicians talk about Main Street as if Main Street even exists anymore. In the small town I grew up in, Main Street is virtually gone. Main Street is extinct in most rural areas, and cities don't have Main Streets.

Mr. President...say this!

I would like our next president to tell the truth. I am so tired of the double speak and the promises that cannot be kept. In truth the president has very little actual power. He wields potential power but it is the senate and house whom hold the power. So I would like the next president to tell us that. I would like the next president to say; "Look, I can't change the economy but I can urge congress to tighten trade agreements. I can't make business stay in the USA but I can offer financial reasons to congress which they can pass into legislation and then maybe then we can get somewhere." The president can order our troops out of Iraq, today, tomorrow, whenever he deems appropriate, I would like our next president to do that the first thing. "Pack it up boys and girls, your coming home." The next president should not have an aide come up with a catchy education slogan, then not fund the services needed for the programs success, and then blame schools for failing our children. The next president, Obama or McCain(heaven forbid) you should put money behind words, and work with the unions to hold teachers accountable for student test scores if all you care about are test scores. Of course if you really want to make a difference in education, you might try making it a priority. Maybe stop with all the words and start with teacher training and teacher pay. Maybe when the president says; "Being a teacher is the most important job in America." Maybe then we will be treated like professionals and maybe then we could attract more people to our profession who are actually professional teachers and not people who fell into the job because of the great vacation package." You have to find the people who can pull the switches to get a handle on this gas thing. Maybe tax incentives if you buy a hybrid, or a tank less water heater, or install solar panels in your home. Maybe we should spend some money in American car companies so we don't have to buy a Toyota if we want to drive a hybrid...why is everyone ahead of us? The Senate and the House must find some way to stop all the posturing and get some freakin' work done, you are neither democrat or republican you are Representatives for us...remember us...were the ones who can't go to the beach because gas is too expensive. We can't take our kids to Disneyland because that place is crazy expensive. We eat a lot of rice and beans, because meat and bread are too expensive. No doubt while you ponder the meaning of your existence with your sworn enemy over a steak and martini, mother's and father's everywhere are trying, once again to make the calculator say they can save their home. This is bull! We once stood proud as a leader, a land of opportunity, now we are being punked by every other country, and China owns us. China just owns us, so Mr. President when you take office would you sit with the smartest people in this country, regardless of their political history - just find the smartest people we have to offer, and there are plenty of them...and get us out of debt, get us out of the war, get us out of this recession, and get us out of our dependence on excuses - lead us for goodness sakes - you wanted the job now would you please do it! And do it right!

Clinton's job is more important than the president!

Haven't been about here lately, tired, really tired! I'm not talking a little tired, I'm talking "carrying cement blocks, wearing a lead jacket tired." I don't know if I am tired because my America is letting me down or if I am tired because it is the end of the school year and I should be tired or maybe I am tired because I have been fighting lupus for 16 years. Whatever the cause I have been really tired. And the Met's suck. That makes me even more tired. How can a team with that much talent suck that bad. I will tell you how...bad manager. Willie Randolph is not a good manager. Probably a nice guy and a great dad, or husband or friend - whatever? He is not a good manager. Simple and plain and easy to explain - He is not a good manager. He makes choices that are wrong, choices that any 40 year fan of the game knows are wrong - and all the while I am screaming at the screen telling him what bad things is about to befall the team because he made the wrong choice, and just as my prediction becomes reality a light bulb goes on somewhere in a small town - but not in Randolph's head.
Another reason I am so tired is this primary race for democratic president. I am tired because we are a dysfunctional family, we would rather tear each other to shreds than defeat our greatest threat. If McCain wins the presidency we have no one to blame - and we can't complain for the next four years...not one word of disrespect or defiance toward a McCain presidency - if he wins it is our own fault and we will have to reap what we sow. And I am tired because a woman I once respected, a woman I once wanted to meet above all others, this woman has become so many things that I don't like about politics, and now she doesn't even know that she is becoming a caricature of herself. It really makes me sad - I don't trust Obama, I don't but I sure want to. I want to believe we can return to a country of leadership, responsibility and that we can create positive change for our future - I am cynical, this I know. I want to quit my job and follow him where ever he leads me just so I can serve him and be a part of what is right with this country. But I don't trust him. And Mrs. Clinton, you have changed the landscape for every woman in this country. For this you will have our gratitude, but don't lose our respect just to be president. The respect of this country is worth more than being the president of this country. We stopped respecting the resident of the White House a long time ago. We respect the people who are agents of positive change and good vibes. Be that person Mrs. Clinton, Senator, be a leader who can lead us down the streets, be a leader who doesn't have to abide by so many rules and unwritten agendas - be this leader Senator Clinton, you will be remembered more for being the woman who could have been president but decided there was a more important job for her to do. Your legacy, Mrs. Clinton, does not rest on a bed on Pennslyvannia Avenue - there are greater posts for which you must be ready.

Why It Rolls Down Hill

I don't understand why we have to hurt one another...or what the thrill is in bringing down others just because you can. Yet, in a the field of education I see it everyday - everyyear - everywhere. We are in the education, people helping pe0ple, kumbaya business - and yet there is such a culture of gossip-mongering and tattle-taling, back-stabbing, maybe we are too much like the children we teach. It is beyond me why people act this way. Let's say I am making a million dollars a year and I know you are making $250,000. Why would I try to take away any of your money, or rain on your parade? What would be the point? I am only going to make my million, and that is plenty so why should I begrudge you your $250? We seem ready to "dish the dirt" at the drop of a hat, we seem to thrive on negative energy and negative words and negative thoughts-what a waste it all is. I try to stay in my space and do what I am suppose to do - I could do more and do better, I know-but I don't talk about others and I don't point the finger at others - I try to understand that we all have our own agendas and we all have issues for which we compensate-and I know we have all walked a road that left some soreness in our heels, so I am not going to sweat anyone what they have to do to get through the day. As long as you are not hurting others, then do what you need. Live and let live. But it doesn't work that way and the negative energy just wears me out. If I am willing to carry an extra load and you don't want to carry any load, that is fine - but don't hate me for my effort and I won't hate you for not trying at all. And, ultimately, in the end, we are all trying to move the same pile of rocks from one side of the road to the other - so why don't we just work together?

ವೈ ಇಟ್ ರೋಲ್ಲ್ಸ್ ದೊವ್ನ್ ಹಿಲ್ಲ್?

What Was It?

I think I have a memory problem...last night as I was attempting to fall asleep I mused over a blog I wanted to write - this morning, as the cursor flashes, my mind is as blank as the screen in front of me. They say sometimes, if you are not in the mood, you should just begin a little foreplay and the rest will follow - so I thought if I just began to write the thought would come back to me. It has not. Reading the newspaper or listening to news on the radio is frightening. The way I see it, in about a year's time we will not be able to afford gasoline, food, or clothes. My partner and I have already decided to stock up on non-perishable items- we plan on eating rice and beans for the next year or so. Our nine year old daughter, listening to our dinner conversation, interjected with the most concerned; "is that really going to happen?"
I replied, "No, of course not. We are just speculating."
Problem is we are speculating based on the information given to us by the media. Which I know is a pit of political agendas and immoral attention
seeking whores. What are we supposed to do? I guess just not watch and wait for the world to end. Perhaps ignorance is bliss. The Governator in CA is cutting almost 500 million dollars from the education budget - as a teacher I need to know this information, or do I? Next year my school campus will look different. Gone will be the extra things like a counselor, psychologist, nurse, new text books, adult assitance, yard supervisors, cafeteria workers, maintenance workers, safe busses to transport children to school: sure a school nurse was a luxury. And I know if a child has a crisis, if one child amid my 40 has lost a parent or been a victim of violence - I know I will find a way to attend to them as best I can - it won't be the same as having a train counselor spend some 1:1 time, offering expert help and referring the student for outside agency follow-up - No, it won't be like that but I will do my best. Then the teacher's union talks about going on strike to get more money and to protest all the cuts and how the cuts will affect children - so I innocently ask; "How will a classroom without a teacher affect the children?" Isn't enough damage going to be done with all the other cuts, can't we at least offer children the stability of having familiar teachers on campus, and can't we for once and for all recognize the important role a teacher plays in the future of our entire country? Can't we recognize the amount of education required to become a teacher and the amount of professional development a teacher is required to maintain every year and just pay teachers a professional salary - No, we can't do that because teachers have summers off. Do you think the CEO of Big Bussiness Inc. gets 4 weeks, 6 weeks, 8 weeks of vacation a year? Bet he does. And how many of these hip technology companies, and advertising/marketing companies allow their employees to wear shorts, jeans, flip-flops to work, or to bring their dog to work? They make 6 figures, because a catchy tune to sell a Volkswagen is more important than teaching -
I guess it is true, a little foreplay can get you in the mood - just that now I am really angry at the injustice of it all and I wish, I wish, oh, I don't even know what I wish anymore - why can't the world just be a fair place?

Where do we go?

It just cost me $52.00 to fill my truck with gasolinge. A barrell of oil topped out this AM at $102.00 - I want to be responsible and buy a hybrid - but I cannot afford to purchase one. When I was looking I wanted to buy an American made hybrid...only problem is they can't compete with the Japanese cars in quality and price. We are going into these presidential elections limping on broken promises and weak knees. Many American workers are checking their time cards for pink slips - teachers across the country are bracing for larger class sizes as education funds are cut and cut. Our healthcare system is broken but there are no doctors who can fix it. So, where do we go? Do we grab the tail of the kite of hope that Barack Obama is sailing or do we cling to an established player like Hillary Clinton - and are there really people in this USA who would vote for a man who said, "We may need to be in Iraq for 100 years."? Please tell me that is not possible. I don't know what to do. Just don't know where to turn or who to support or how to begin moving this large pile of rocks that stands in front of me. Our country, which for my whole life, was strong and independent and a leader among leaders has become a sississified, whimpering, bully. When we don't get our way we cry and then we bully. I won't travel outside the US because I don't want to be ridiculed for the sins of my family. We were attacked on September 11, we have men and women on the front lines in a war, yet as a whole we seem oblivious to these facts and we seem to have forgotten what made this country strong. Personal freedom is being snatched from us inch by inch - we give up nothing and ask for everything and as long as we make enough money who cares about the guy behind us. We criticize other countries for occupation yet we occupy, we criticize other countries for human rights violations yet we violate human rights, we criticize other countries for restricting personal freedoms, yet we viloate personal freedoms. If this is going to stop we need to get the heck out of Iraq. We need to fix our own house before we try to help others - I often refer to the instructions given to you on a airplane, you know the ones no one really pays attention to, but maybe we should...in the event of an emergency oxygen masks will automatically fall from the ceiling, please place the oxygen mask over your own nose and mouth before attempting to help others - as a country we need to adopt this plan...we need to put that oxygen mask on first, to get some oxygen to our brains - then we might make democratic decisions and then we might once again become a leader among leaders and a nation of proud, independent and self sufficient citizens.

Why the rich get richer

This weekend I had the displeasure of car shopping...I own a truck - I need to get with the times and by a hybrid. I know a Prius is the best to buy so this is my plan. But I cannot afford a Prius. As a teacher I don't make a lot of scratch and my partner is a TA so she makes even less - we have purchased a condo and that is great! However, at the end of the month there is no money left for an additional car payment. I own my truck, so there is no payment - but my point is this - the rich get richer because they can spend money to make money. In the long run I would save money with a tankless water heater and a Prius but I cannot afford to save that money because I don't have the money to begin with. I want to go back to school so I can earn more money but I cannot afford to do that either - I can't get ahead so I fall further behind. The rich they can get ahead and they can stay ahead because they can afford to. Those of us in the middle we cannot even get even because everyday we go back two steps - time is not on our side. No one is, I can't get financial aid for college because I make too much, ha, ha, ha, ha - they need to redefine too much. And in the next year the middle people will be squeezed tighter than a puritan in a chastity belt! We will keep plugging along and working as hard as we can to make it happen. We will try and try to get even so we might even get ahead and have a day or two where we can just sit on our little patio and breathe easy. Until then, I need to get back to work because we need groceries for this week.

Zero - Tolerance Policy

I am reading a report written by the 106th congress in February of 2000 regarding the adoption of zero tolerance policies in schools. The report is condemning such policies and for the most part I agree. A first grade student who stands to my knee and says; "I am going to kill you." This little one is not a threat and should not be treated the same as a 10th grade student who stands over me and utters the same words. However, if that first grade student says; "I am going to tell my brother and he is going to kill you." To this I might pay some attention. It is frightening when we have to consider threats from a third grader as serious and credible - but we do. Our children are bombarded with violence from every angle, many times they believe a simple push of the reset button and all is fixed. Our children come from homes so broken and live with aunts, uncles, grandparents, maybe a mom or a dad - Our children are exposed to sex, drugs, and violence - just by watching the 4:00 news. The world is gone mad and our children, with the innocnence long washed from their faces, grow up much too young not prepared for life in any manner. I am a teacher, and I see this everyday. I see the empty eyes and I feel their pain, and I hear their cries - and I don't want it to be true but it is; and I don't want to fear walking to my car after school! I don't want to worry about what is in their backpack, or what they passed to another student, or what happened to them last night for they can't stay awake this morning - I do not want to worry about any of this, but I do.
The 106th congress back in 2000 - is out of touch if they believe the zero tolerance policy too harsh. I wonder how much time and money they spent coming up with the report. They should have just asked any second or third grade teacher in America - they would have told you the policy is over the top and too broad and needs latitude and good judgement from teachers and administrators. Any teacher would tell you it is not applied across the board without consideration and thought - and any teacher will tell you there are times when they lie awake at night afraid for what might happen the next day or dwelling on something that happened already. They are many children's faces whom haunt my nights, children who live in foster care, or with a relative, children who know their mom lives somewhere around here or whose dad is getting released in June. These children who arrive to school at6:30 in the morning, just to wait for 7:20 and breakfast, who are dirty and tired or worn out from the night before - children who can't read or tell time or don't know how to spell their name -and their morning play involves wrestling moves, or paper-mad pretend guns with which they shoot one another - or holding a girl down because "I am you pimp and you do what I say." Right now outside my door I hear a child saying; "RAT A TAT TAT TAT, I SHOT YOU MAN YOU DEAD. FALL DOWN YOU DEAD."
No zero tolerance in schools isn't the best we can do. My question is when will congress do a similiar study on drug addicted parents, or welfare moms with eight kids, or incarcerated dads and how any of these things effect a child's development. When will they study the impact of poverty and hunger and disease of urban youth and how this effects their actions? When will congress declare that zero tolerance for hunger and homelessness is a good policy and one we should adopt and then will congress put forth the money to fix the problem - or will they spend more time and money to determine what any teacher in America knows - education can always get better, should always strive to improve, but if we don't get in the streets and fix things in our homes - it will not matter what education systme we have - there will be no children left to educate!

Hmmmm, Valentine's Day

It is not that I am opposed to celebrating Valentine's Day. For those who have a difficult time expressing emotions, or for those who need a mark on the calendar to remind them that they are in love with someone, it serves a great purpose. For me...I don't need a reminder. I am in love and the best I can, I show my love every single day. No, I am not a great romantic. Far too practical I guess for great romance, but I am a romantic darn it - just that my view of romance is more practical. When I cook supper, all your favorite things, and do the dishes, and make your coffe and prepare your lunch - this is romance. This is love, the day in and day out love that brings us to tears with laughter and to ecstacy with love. This is the bag of hot chips you buy me because I have had a bad day - or being extra quiet on Sunday so I can sleep in. This is the matinee movies, because we can afford that - and the home we have purchased and the way you look at me that makes me smile. Romance, from my pragmatic viewpoint, does not come on a single day in a grandiose gesture of monetary proportions - it is in the countertops, and the carpet, and turning the heat on so the bathroom is hot. It is making breakfast, and paying the mortage on our home, and dreaming of the day we can buy that RV and leave this all behind. It is the quiet dreams I see in you while you sleep. OK, I am not a great romantic...not in the make believe made for television Hallmark hall of fame Meg Ryan movie kind of way - Maybe more in the "Were in this together, lets have a BBQ, can we cuddle, I'll vacumn, do you need me to stop at the store, don't worry I got it...let me vent - I love you every moment of every day kind of way" - that isn't so bad is it?

Faith and Death

There is much to be said for living a life which is good and honorable. It takes a lot of work and continued effort - but in the end, if there is a heaven, it will have served you well. If faith is believing in what you can't see, then why do so many have none? Believing in what we can't see is all we do in life. We believe if we work harder we will earn a promotion. We can't see that promotion, however we believe in it. And that cruise around the Caribbean could be ours if we just have faith. When it comes to faith in a higher power we often scoff at such nonsense. I don't know if there is a heaven, and I don't know if when I die I will be carried by angels to the pearly gates - I don't know if this is true or just a story to make dying appear more pleasant - but if there is a heaven, and if there are angels to carry me away from here - If it does exist, I don't want to find out on that day when I die. I would rather believe it for all the days until then, and live my life attempting to earn a place there, so if it does exist I can go there. And if it does not exist, I have not lost anything-I will be dead. But I will have gained so much. I will have lived my life in a manner that made my parents proud. I will have lived my life so that I left things a little better for my having been there. Hopefully, I will have helped some people along the way and maybe opened some doors for others. I can "die" with that. I can rest eternally, however that is, knowing that I lived peacefully.
What is the real pain in my backside are those who claim to be living the "right way" while they judge and criticize and condemn others - If you are of deep faith and religious conviction - you don't need to shout it from the mountain tops. Live your life as such. Let your actions speak for you. Stop telling others how to live and just live your life better.
I believe there are those among us who have been called to a higher purpose, but they are not the ministers I see at 2:00 am on my television, they don't live in million dollar mansions, and they don't have private planes - Mother Theresa lived a life of such purity without a doubt she fulfilled a higher purpose, and perhaps even Princess Diana was meant for similiar greatness but circumstances were such and God took her home early just to save her the misery her life had become. It is not however only the famous, there are those who work with people dying of aids, and those who go to Africa, and those who serve our country, and those who teach our children, and those who feed our hungry, and those who cloth our homeless - Oh, yeah, I remember Jesus said something about what you do for the least of my brother - I don't recall him talking about having the biggest ministry, I think he liked to keep his down to 12 loyal people - and though he could of asked for anything he did not. He wore a simple robe and sandals and walked among the people - not surrounded by guards. Don't give me the BS about it being a different time. Yeah, it is a different time, if Jesus came back today he would be locked up in a psychiatric hospital. He might make the cover of some grocery store tabloid - but how many of you true believers could leave the comfort of your insulated ignorance long enough to walk the same streets Jesus would walk. He might be down here on Skid Row in Los Angeles, or over on Hollywood Blvd. with the runaway teens - I don't know how much time he would spend in Simi Valley but I am sure there are those there who are in need of help.
I have heard many "Christians" say what is wrong with the world will never be fixed until Jesus returns - you know what, he may already be here but you are too busy pointing out what is wrong you can't see him. Jesus may already be walking this great Earth and we don't even know it because he has already been locked up. And seriously, of all the lands why would he come to the US where we are nothing but a self-righteous, self-indulgent, pious, bighoted, capitalistic, ignorant lot of heathens if ever there were any. And that goes for all of us, Jesus would not come to the bible belt to tell ya'll to get off your self-serving behinds and start living your lives with a purpose and meaning. He already showed us how to do that - he already taught us, and we didn't learn. We couldn't possibly be like Jesus because we are just human - the truth is, it would be really a lot of work to be 1/100th of the man Jesus was - and we just don't want to do that much work when we can sit in fancy churches and give money and cry because we are weak humans. Sounds like a lot of excuses for failure instead of reasons for success. So you can hate me because I am a lesbian. (Whom God created in his image, by the so and so). And you can fault me because I don't get up every Sunday to go to church, and you can judge me for every time I fall down the road of sin - go ahead. Because in the end, when that time comes for me to go wherever it is I am going - I know, I know, I know I lived my life as close to what Jesus asked me to do. I lived my life with kindness, and forgiveness, and charity, and truth. I lived every moment of my life thankful for the moment, accepting of the challenges, and humbled by the mercy - so when it is time - I know Jesus himself might give me directions to the pearly gates. And I know this, if Jesus were to stop me and ask for a $1.00 - I would give it to him - Would you?

Dying

From the moment we are born we have the same destination - death. What separates individuals is what they do between the hours of birth and death. My mother died a few minutes after I was born. In some way that has given me a first hand feel for the shortness and preciousness of the time in between. The first 24 years of my life I lived in tribute to my biological mother. In some way I wanted to live a good life and be a good person. When I turned 25 I figured I had paid my repsects to my biological mother and I could now begin to live for myself. The problem with this was that the man I loved as my father died when I was 17. My grandfather died when I was16. My Great-Gram died when I was 14. When I was 9 Grandma Labrake and my cousin Lee died. When I was just a 1 year oldI had a tumor which brought me to the edge of death. It is fair to say, at least in my opinion, I have known death. And in my experience death sucks! Not any newsflash - there has also been a gift in the suckiness that is death. At a very young age I knew to enjoy the minutes in between. I was cursed with loss and blessed with insight. Would I trade one for the other, certainly. It would be cool to know who I might have become had my biological mother lived. The thought of not knowing my other mother - my mother of love, that saddens me - we were so close. But I figure you don't miss what you never had. That isn't really true either. I missed my biological mother even though I never knew her. There is a loss in that.
So, we are all dying and we need to spend more time enjoying the moments in between. You know, really stop and smell the roses and not sweat the little things.
I find myself on Monday mornings, counting time until it will be Friday again. Then I remind myself that is a waste and I should be happy it is 6:00 am and I am on my way to teach students. And mostly I am happy that I work with children, I love teaching. I wanted to be a teacher for a long time - I went to college to be a teacher - I am a good teacher. There is a moment when the "light bulb" goes on for a student and it feels darn good to have been a part of that. As much as I genuinely enjoy how I earn my living I'd just a soon stay home and putter all day. I could putter and putter and play golf with a putter and be a happy woman - I am tired of working. That is the plain truth.
My point, yes, I have a point - we should enjoy the moments on the freeway at 6:00 am even in the pouring rain on a Monday morning. So, today I spent enjoying my students when they said they did not want to do their math, and when they would not line up quietly I just smiled and said "OK, we can wait.!" This is the day I live for the moment even more than I have before because I have less than 20 years and I cannot allow myself to spend one more minute with worry that won't change a thing and fear that won't stop the inevitable and crying that won't water flowers. None of that will pay the bills but I will.

Stupid Drivers

Last night in socal, it rained and rained and rained some more. Streets were flooded, people were wet and angry, animals were looking for the ark - and I was driving home with my fellow commuters hoping that I might make it before I had to get up and return to work. During the rain we all need to slow down...but slowing to 10 mph on the 5 north during rush hour, rain or not....is dangerous. Of course some people decide if they drive faster the rain might not hit their cars, as they hydroplane past me I can already hear the ambulance sirens heading in their direction. I drive slower, 55 - 50, I keep a greater distance between myself and the car in front of me - I sit up straight and I don't listen to the radio. Common sense washes down street drains right with the raindrops. People are stupid - they lack sense - they lack judgement - they lack compassion. I don't know why this is but I wish I could give stupid people tickets and make them go to stupid people reprogramming school. Stupid people endanger my life - they make my commute really long and they make my stomach hurt. I don't eat until almost seven, then I can't sleep and when I finally find Mr. Sandman he puts rocks in my eyes which remain long into the next day. The inevitable nightmare is because of stupid people driving 80 next to a semi on a rain slicked freeway, when you can't see the taillights of the car in front of you. It makes me angry and I want to find some way to fix the stupid people because I don't believe people want to be stupid -

Christian Wrong

I was talking to my sister this morning. She lives in a very Christian town in Texas. The very Christian woman who runs the local Curves recently purchased a new massage chair for her clients. For $25 you can sit in this chair for 30 minutes. Expensive chair...anyway the owner was offering your first 30 minutes for free. My sister was unaware of this free promotion when she wrote a check for $25 to give the chair a try. The very Christian woman took my sister's check and has since cashed it. The very Christian woman new it was my sister's first time on the chair - it may have slipped her mind that the first 30 minutes was free. So maybe she inadvertently kept the money. Herein is the problem. I don't believe she forgot to give my sister her free 30 minutes. My sister had a check ready and the lady took the money. She is a business woman and making money is her purpose - that is just fine. This same woman plays only Christian music in her store, her right, go ahead. There are bible quotes everywhere, and according to my sister she will preach to anyone at any time. OK, it is her store and she can do all of those things - However, if she is going to be like Jesus she can't accept money for a free trial or she cannot advertise a free trial. And if she is so much like Jesus then she should recognize her error and give my sister 60 free minutes in the massage chair. We are made in God's image but he made us human and gave us the power of free choice - we are not Jesus and though we can try to live good, honest lives we all make mistakes. No matter how much you can quote the bible or how quickly you can tell me I am a sinner - you are the same as me. Human and prone to mistakes - and while you may believe that when you falter all you are required to do is ask for forgiveness at services on Sunday or put an extra $10 in the basket - you must first make right to the person you wronged. God will forgive us all if we ask for it, this is a great gift. But when you wrong another human being, it is this person you must seek forgiveness from - God is not hearing your "I'm sorry" until you say it to the offended party. This nice woman may have done all of this in error and does not even know she made a mistake and is walking around proud of herself for the great services she provides all in the name of God - then again she could be human like the rest of us, she could be a woman trying to make a buck to pay the rent, and maybe she figured what she was doing was not stealing. It is hard to sit so high and mighty because the fall is far far down. It is difficult attempting to live in perfection because the mirror doesn't lie - and most challenging is to find so many wrongs and faults with non-Christians because in fact, Jesus teaches us not to judge - so this is why Christians are wrong in so much of what they do. They often use their religion to avoid responsibility or to avoid their lives. Either one is not right and thus they are wrong. Go ahead, be of faith and spirit and believe all that makes you feel peaceful and safe - but don't cross yourself with one hand and smack me in the face with the other. I will turn the other cheeck because that is what I was taught - but there will be a smile on my face because you will only have proven me to be the person living more in Jesus's image - and that makes me happy.

Clinton/Obama

If you love what Obama says and love the way he says it that is great! Only problem being that a great speech will not lead us out of a recession, out of Iraq, and it won't keep us out of Iran. I grew up a semi-flower child. Loving one another and being good to thy brother. We drank wine and sang songs by the campfire while we contemplated the greater meaning to our lives and what purpose we could serve to leave the world better. I am a poet and a teacher and a dreamer. There is nothing I would love more than sitting with others, holding hands and singing Kumbaya - but that won't pay the bills. It won't give me the resources I need to teach my 4th grade students how to read. It won't give all people health care and it won't ensure me a retirement before I die. Who is going to bring this country back to its feet? When will become leading producers instead of consumers? When will we stop buying foreign goods and support ourselves? Which candidate is going to lead us forward in times difficult as that of other periods of war and recession? We may need to believe in the spirit of the mankind and the spirit of rebirth - the truth is we are on a collision course with bad news and we need experienced leadership - Maybe Clinton will be like all the democrats we elected mid-term to bring an end to the occupation in Iraq, she will fold like a 2/3 off suit hand in Texas Hold'em - and just be a politician - but maybe, just maybe, she will seize the historic significance of her election and say politics as usual be damned and turn that good ole' boys network upside down. And maybe such bold behavior will unite all of us until we light a fire, grab a guitar and start singing campfire songs.

Opening Thoughts

this is the beginning of a time like we have never known...depending on the upcoming presidential election - we will either become a nation unified or a fallen empire. it is not a time to talk rhetoric or to be influenced by advertisements and polls. this being said, who do we vote for? if your looking for that answer i don't know it - i fear a republican will win if they face a woman, i love mr. obama's message but words without weight will not bring us from this funk. and when the time comes, the moment, in the booth when you pull the lever or press the button, can we all say in our heart of hearts a woman or an african american will have the same opportunity as a whitel male? few will publicly admit they won't vote for a woman or an african american but I am not naive enough to believe such talk.

sports, football...championship weekend - how has brady managed to live this entire season without getting his block knocked off. such arrogance needs a black and blue mark. i want to see favre and brady square off and favre to carry the trophy off the field. please have a close up of brady at that moment.
ny mets fans start praying, without the acquisition of a marquee starter we are doomed to third or maybe fourth place in the division. atlanta retakes his place on top and we hit the cellar. pray!

college football needs a playoff system - but how?
the lakers will win the west if bynum can return at the same level he was playing before he got hurt.
it will be a lakers/celtics final - how sweet!