What I Think...

I have been a passenger on many airplanes. Big planes, little planes, long flights, and short flights - As many times as I have flown it never once occurred to me to think I could fly a plane. That would just be silly. A pilot is trained and licensed to fly the plane. No matter how many times I am a passenger on a plane-I am neither trained nor licenced to fly a plane. I don't know what flying a plane requires - there are a lot of instruments I know that. There must be a good amount of stress in being a pilot - See, I would not purport to know how to fly a plane just because I have been a passenger on a plane - Why, pray tell, does every nummy-nut with a forum for speech think they can tell teachers how to teach. I am trained and licensed to teach. I am still going to school so I can be a better teacher - teaching is a difficult job - just because you were once a student does not mean you know how to teach! Oh, but education is the big buzz word this election season - a lot of opinions going around - get rid of the teacher's union because it protects incompetent teachers - have student test scores determine a teacher's quality of service - yeah, and let's have doctors lose their licenses if a patient dies. Surely a patient dying is more serious than a fifth grader who can't read! It is ridiculous! The LA Times published their rating system on the Internet. A 5th grade teacher, who fell in too the less able category, well he killed himself - I know that public indictment of his teaching was probably not the only factor in his death, but it contributed. The list is a joke, that poor man's family, well they are not laughing. Standardized test are given over a period of eight days. On any given day a student may not feel well. Perhaps they did not eat breakfast, or their parents were fighting, or they slept on the floor, or they have test anxiety - some people don't like taking standardized tests; On this day a student is not able to show what they know via the test; However, the LA Times proposes that the one day test score of a student will determine the effectiveness of a teacher - one day test score - have you ever had a bad day when you could not do your best work? Do you want your work evaluation based on the behavior or performance of the person in the next cubicle? Sure, Officer Jones is being fired because his partner Officer Smith shows up for work late - if Officer Jones was better at his job then Officer Smith would get to work on time. That makes perfect sense. Our system of Education is in need of repair - no one argues that point. Remember when they use to serve meals on flights? A soda and some peanuts, a movie, a blanket or a pillow - they don't provide any of these services anymore -- Why? MONEY! It costs too much and people are going to fly anyway. Education is in the same boat - there is no money and kids are going to come to school anyway. So while it makes for great election month debate, once the elections are over, the subject will go away. Nothing will change. Children have to come to school. I don't believe the powers that be really want to tackle the fixing of our education system - I'll do it! Teachers are the people who need to fix the system. It is our system. Yes, we need to do some weeding of our garden. Yes, the school year needs extension. Yes, we need to make more money so we can attract a quality individual to our profession. And yes, there can be an objective system of evaluation - However, before anyone evaluates a teacher - let them teach. My offer always stands; come teach for a week. Have you seen that show with Tony Danza? He went to school to be a teacher - but he was not a teacher - Teaching is not something you do it is who you are. Teaching is a passion, an art. If you feel it within your soul and your heart then you will do right by your students - If you teach because it allows you time to pursue other dreams, you won't last long - the job is simply too difficult if you are not in it for the love of children. Go ahead, take a walk in my sneakers - then judge me. I am not going to fly any planes, but you are welcome to come teach my class.

Tony's

I liked it when we owned Tony's. Yes it was a lot of work. Yes our family pretty much fell apart during the years we were at Tony's. No those are not good things. What I enjoyed about the time we were at Tony's was the sense of community. I liked the regulars. Knowing what time what they were coming in and what they wanted to drink. I liked the Constable Volunteer Fire Department's annual BBQ and making 30 gallons of cole slaw. I like the nights when I stayed up with Daddy Pat. I would play pool or Foosball. Stock the cooler. Cook a few pizzas or hamburgers - I liked going across the street to Mr. Tallon's store and buying a root beer and cherry pie. Mallo Cups, Mr. Tallon always had Mallo Cups. I tried to save the point cards but never had enough to buy anything. I liked being a part of the community. We all need to belong to something. Especially as a teenager, we were celebrities because we had something the people in the community wanted. I liked the spaghetti supper fundraisers for Starlighters. I liked cooking Thanksgiving dinner for a our customers. Went to bed exhausted every night, but exhausted in a good way - exhausted because you had done a good day's work. You don't have that in a city the size of Los Angeles. I could go to the same store everyday for a year and never see a person I know. When I was in Malone this summer almost time I went to Price Chopper I saw someone I knew - or someone who knew me - I like that. There is something nice about a neighbor stopping by because they see a strange car in your driveway, or because they know you haven't been feeling well and they just want to check up on you. Tony's was like that everyday. Except Monday's - we were closed on Monday's. A lot of times we would go out to eat on Monday's. Funny, you own a restaurant and on your day off you go out to eat at a restaurant. One time when we had a fire in the kitchen the dog woke me up. The whole place was filled with smoke. Everyone got out, except for Mommie. She wouldn't leave until she put her make up on. So up in her room I waited with her, stuffed a towel under the door to keep out the smoke. When she was all "fixed" up the firemen took us out the window and down the ladder. Of course we knew all those volunteer firemen because they came into the bar almost every day. On Christmas Eve we closed at 6:00 pm because Mommie said all those men should be home with their families. Then Christmas day we reopened at 6:00 pm because Mommie said you can spend too much time with your family. When I came back to California I was sick. One of the doctors I saw was from Montreal - he use to come into Tony's. He said he remembered these little girls in smocks who were the waitresses - I laughed - I was one of those little girls in a smock...probably waited on him. Small world! We do need to belong to something bigger than ourselves. It is human nature and human need. We are not islands - we might think we are, we may even want to be - but we are not. Went to Tony's this summer - first time I had been in there since 1982...that is a long time. It has changed a lot. Not completely, the stove was the same and the counter top in the kitchen was the same - They have built a nice back porch and moved the bathrooms. It was kind of weird to be there - bittersweet I'd say. Rekindled some precious memories - brought back some bad memories - Nothing is all good or bad. Tony's was not all good or bad - I choose to remember the good things. The people, the parties, the laughter - the sense of belonging and the sense of community. These were the good things about Tony's. If we learned about hard work and sacrifice, well that was hard at the time, but it helped us in the long run. A resilient bunch of girls we turned out to be. We lost a lot during those years at Tony's - we learned a lot. It is as I continually say; We can choose to remember the good or the bad - why remember the bad? Remember the good times and find what of value you gained for the experience. Yeah, I enjoyed Tony's. Sometimes I wish I had skipped college and tried to make a go of keeping the place ours. It was Mommie's dream to own her own restaurant - though she never would have wanted me to stay. Mommie really was a remarkable woman. The love she held for her children was the greatest! Always put us first, and never attempted to hold us back. Never put her needs in front of ours - Goodness I miss her. For my life I try to live so she will continue to be proud of me. I try to be as giving as she was - her heart so large - her humility so real. God took my biological mother, he sure gave me a great replacement. Such love - between Mommie and I. Maybe that is what I liked about Tony's - I knew it was Mommie's dream to own a restaurant and it was nice to see her have her dream realized - she gave so much for her children to realize their dreams...that is what Mothers do. Yeah, I reckon knowing Mommie was living her dream, that might be what I most enjoyed about the time we spent at Tony's.

Grey's Anatomy

Grey's Anatomy is a good show. What I most enjoy are the monologues which begin and end each episode. The words spoken are not just hyperbole - they actually have some meaning. A lot yesterday was about choosing - where do you choose to go when everything you once knew is gone, or at least irrevocably changed? That is where I am at in my own life - so I wonder, where do I go from here when everything I believed to be truth is no longer such? Change is inevitable, it is the only constant in life - so we have to adapt. Now, I must adapt and I must change. I must find the next step and move on. Forward tally ho! It is the "letting go" which staggers me like a boxer's punch. Never easy the letting go - not in any situation. When it is unexpected, unwanted, and when I was unprepared - well, now I have to adapt. The change is upon me whether I like it or not...what am I going to do. Lately I have a repetitive dream in which I am projectile vomiting some white, chunky stuff - in the dream I fall to the ground, the white chunky stuff is still coming out of my mouth at an alarming rate (it's actually kind of weird because I swear I wake up with the most sour taste in my mouth) anyway, while I am lying on the ground several strangers come and taunt me with dishes of oatmeal, pudding, eggs - they ask me if I want a bite and they laugh at me. I take this dream as my subconscious purging. What I am unable to do in my conscious state my subconscious is trying to do for me. Of course the other night I had a dream I went to the emergency room and asked them to amputate my right leg - my leg has been hurting so much and there is no end in sight. Lawyers only care about the $$$, the worker's comp company only cares about minimizing their exposure - the district just wants it to all go away - shoot I want it all to go away! The pain, that would be nice - should not have to live like this. Standing there one morning and two years later my life is still backside up. Oh, yes I am struggling - My life is at a crossroads - not a place I intended to be, yet here I am - I'll figure it out and I'll get through it. Change, that inevitable event we both embrace and fear. Change brings about great things and opens new doors. Change forces us to move outside of our comfort zone - and that is scary. Change brings us to discovery of new things, this can be good. Change will take us up higher and sometimes it will bring us to some lower valleys - but we get through, we survive - Ah, that which does not kill us makes us stronger. I must be strong as an ox! Nah, not really, I'll survive this change - I just need to figure out where I am suppose to go  and a way to get there, then pack up and head in that direction - this change has come and I must adapt or die - I am not going to go out like that. 

It has been a while

It has been a while since I last wrote. Part of the reason is going back to work. I had no idea it would be so hard. Every day lasts so long. I feel we have been working two months - it hasn't even been two weeks. My classroom this year has 10 students. They are some of the lowest functioning students I have ever had. I don't understand how a child can get to fourth grade when they cannot read all the letters of the alphabet. It boggles my mind how a child can get to fourth grade and not know how to add with regrouping, or identify coins. One child cannot identify his own name. You could ask most of the students in my class where they live - most of them won't be able to tell you. The expectation is that I will present general education curriculum to my students. The students in my class are expected to meet the same standards as their same age peers. My children will have to take the same standardized tests as their peers. It is just exhausting - mentally and physically exhausting, because I really try to teach what I am mandated to teach. By ten O'clock in the morning I am just wore out. The energy I must exert just to get through math and spelling is unbelievable. I write the number 234 on the board and ask the students to read the number - they can't. They might say; "two three four." They cannot read the number two hundred thirty four. The state standard requires 4th graders to identify numbers to one million, 5th grade to one billion - we are at tens! When the first quarter math assessment comes my students don't stand a chance - and that is on me. See, I want them to pass the test. I want them to look at the questions and know the answers. In reality they will look at the questions and not be able to read them. Actually calculating and choosing the correct answer is just a pipe dream. It is a dream I have though. It is my deepest desire to provide my students with the tools they need so they can feel successful. How in the world am I going to do that? I think about it all day and all night. Every day I seek another way to present the material in hopes something will click. Some days as I am teaching, I look around my classroom - staring back at me are these young children trying so very hard to "get it." They don't. They know they don't - this is wrong! What I should be teaching are life skills. Use of money, how to tell time, how to ask a question, how to move around the community - my children need to learn how to interact with others, how to give proper eye contact when speaking to an adult, what resources are available to them and their families. Yesterday one little girl in my class arrived at school very upset. She had not been able to complete her homework. She did not earn the homework star for the day. After a few hours she asked to speak with me in private - we went outside where she began to tell me why she could not do her homework. The night before her mother's boyfriend had beat up her mother and her baby brother. The little girl had to call 911. The police came but the boyfriend had left. The police told the mom to go to court and get a restraining order. The entire family stayed up all night fearing the boyfriend would come back. Was this little girl in any mental position to learn place value, proper nouns, and the regions of the United States? What could I do for her? It is exhausting. A daily heart break and daily frustration and a sense every night that I have failed. I am not enough. Not good enough, not skilled enough, not equipped enough. Twenty seven years of teaching special education is a long time. Not many people have made it this long. I am proud that I have. Every year it is more difficult. The children have more needs, greater gaps in their learning - they arrive at school with such need and I am not enough. I'll get up tomorrow and go at it again. One thing I am not is a quitter! I will give all I have, but I know sitting here tonight it won't be enough. At the place I am in my life; both professionally and personally I am not enough. I don't have enough of whatever it is I need to have. It is exhausting. OK, that is enough whining. Writing is cheaper than therapy. If anyone reads this pause a moment and say a prayer for the students in my class - If you could, sometime throughout your day, when you have a positive moment - think of the children in my class and think a good thought for them. Thanks.

First Day of School

My goodness the first day of school. Never saw so many tears - child after child being dragged by their parent. Each child crying; "I don't want to go to school." I told each child; "I don't want to come to school either, so lets just try to get through the day together." For the most part it worked. One little boy wouldn't fall for it - he left with his mother. I guess it only proves the point that summer is too long. Children become estranged from the school environment then they just don't want to come back to school. Add to the equation children with emotional and learning disabilities - well, your asking for a lot of tears. Emily, on the other hand has had her backpack ready and her clothes picked out for the past two weeks. So what is the difference? Emily is achieving at the highest level - she scored 600 on the CST. That is the highest score you can get. My highest performing student scored 278 - and that is truly amazing! It is however not good enough. Students know this - those students who are the top of the class, they know it. Those students who are in special day classes - they also know it. They know their year is going to be challenging...period! We are required to present the same material to our students that students like Emily receive. It is not fair or right. It is a dilemma? Yes, children with special needs deserve to be as part of the school community. That goes without saying and should never have been an issue. However, when it comes to the material being taught lets keep it real. A fourth grade student who cannot read their own name is not going to find a lot of educational benefit from a fourth grade text book. It is a fact. I can't teach them at their functioning level-Oh NO, I must teach them at their grade level. Yeah sure! What in the world are people thinking? Ah, you no me - I do what is best for my students - I bend the framework a little bit. Students in my class show consistent improvement on test scores - I do it a little different, in the end the test scores don't lie, different apparently is not wrong! I am one tired little girl. Summer is too long - I am out of "Teacher Shape." My job requires me to stand/walk five hours a day. Go from being a couch potato for two months to standing/walking five hours - my feet hurt, my back hurts, my head hurts, shoot my hands hurt. We'll get up tomorrow and go at it again, and again, and again. It's all good - I love teaching. Don't so much like all the crying - but the teaching that is fun. Working with children keeps you young - and in shape, once I get back in shape - Oh, where is my ice bag? Where is the Tylenol? I better go to bed now, tomorrow gets here so darn soon.

New School Year

Alas, the new school year is upon me - goodness summer was short. No shorter than any other, summer always feels short. I think the older I get the shorter summer is. Days, school days - they are longer. It it OK though - I am tough and I can take it. Teachers here in LA are taking a beating. The media is claiming the failure of California's economy is somehow the fault of teachers. I am not a great economist but that does not make sense. The LA Times rated teachers based on student test scores. Test scores are not a an accurate measurement of teacher effectiveness. I don't reckon there can be a truly objective measure of teacher effectiveness. That is true of any profession which involves the relationship between people as opposed to a monetary increase or decrease - relationships are not quantifiable on the basis of plus or minus so many points on a test score. A car salesman knows he has had a good month when he sells ten cars. A stock broker makes 50,000 that is probably a good day. What of the fireman? How do we measure his worth - or the policeman? You can't. You can't say a policeman is most effective because he arrests 10 people. There may be just one person that policeman doesn't arrest which makes all the difference; either good or bad. A patient may find the kindest nurse only to learn her supervisors do not appreciate her at all. People are not business, though I understand, people are business. I am not opposed to an objective measurement of student improvement, coupled with observation and evaluation - based on objective standards - because the truth is; not everyone likes everyone - if your principal does not like you - regardless of your teaching ability, well your screwed - conversely, a principal can cover up for an inept teacher - and the union; well it serves a valuable purpose and it is a hindrance. What is the answer? There are many options which would work, if the powers that be would get out of the way and let the people in the trenches do their work. Trust is a word I've heard thrown about a lot - what does trust have to do with anything? Is the district hiding assets? No, they are wasting assets! Is the union protecting inept teachers? Yes, they are. Are there any absolutes? No. Isn't this the truth in everything. Jerry Garcia and The Dead had it correct - there are many shades of gray! What is difficult for me is the finger pointing and negative campaigning. This does not help anyone. It will not make any situation better. There is no point in talking about what is wrong - we know what is wrong - How are we going to fix it? It is a WE situation - WE are all responsible for one another and WE must work together if true reform will ever take place. Reform needs to take place, but WE have to be the change we wish to see - the editor of the Times has not spent much time teaching so his skewed perspective is of little importance. Talk to teachers, administrators, office staff, cafeteria staff, yard supervisors, maintenance staff - I'll betcha' the majority will agree that reform is necessary. Most will tell you we have to do more. The honest among us will admit the need for accountability and we will admit the union does protect people who should not be teachers. Oh sure, money is going to be the "buzz" word. We need more money to do anything. Probably we need to reallocate funds so they are utilized effectively. There is a lot of waste around the district - I see it at my school. Multiply that by all the schools in the district - it is a lot of waste - WE need to find solutions. Enough blaming. Crime is up because the economy is down - not because the police no longer are trying to do their jobs. People are short tempered everywhere. There is a lot of pressure on a lot of us, personally, financially, professionally - WE can only get through this time in US History if we come together, if we work together - Today, the day after 9/11 - well today is a good day for the powers that be to step off their high horses and remember who ran into those buildings, who fought those fires, who held hands, who healed - Our country is in crisis. What are WE going to do about it?

I need an off button

My brain needs an off button - I could not fall asleep last night. Why you ask? OK, maybe you don't ask but I am going to tell you - this is what was happening inside my brain - "Tomorrow Emily wants to go to IHOP. I'll get an English muffin, last time I went to IHOP I got sick - need to wear a shirt I can change out of - need to buy some Mountain Dew in the can - those 2 liter plastic bottles - Mountain Dew does not taste good in plastic - Pepsi is OK, Coke is good in a plastic bottle, Mexican Coke in a glass bottle, that is good - Orange, Nehi Orange in a glass bottle chilled over ice - it is cool tonight that's nice - good sleeping weather - Zuko your a bed hog, and I am not a pillow - he thinks I am a pillow - God forbid I should move or roll over - he makes such a sound - Zuko is like sleeping with a heater - I like it cold when I sleep Shoot next week we are back to work - I need to get some more things ready - Tomorrow, tomorrow is Tuesday - that's right - Dr's on Wednesday and Friday, I should write that on the calendar - Oh, I don't want to get up, I'll do it in the morning- You'll forget in the morning - No I won't Dr.'s Wednesday and Friday - I need to go to the dollar store and buy bulletin board borders - need to finish those darned bulletin boards - Goodness would that dog stop barking! Where is that dog - what unit is it in? They probably leave it on the patio and that is why it barks - poor baby - why get  a dog and leave it on the patio. I should sweep the patio - though what's the point the pigeons will just defecate all over it again - I should write a letter to someone about that, can't even use the patio for the pigeons - I don't like pigeons - I wonder how Eileen is doing with her mice problem, do those plug in noise makers work - I don't know that seems weird - I wonder if the mice all march out of the house together - that would be funny - she should get a cat - I miss Sonny, he slept on my feet and kept them warm - Zuko he sleeps curled around my stomach - I am not a pillow - when he is finally settled he takes this long cleansing breath, it just makes me smile - he is a good dog - I need to get gas tomorrow - fill my truck up before I go to the Dr's - Oh shoot I can't - Have to wait for my new ATM card, I wonder if someone stole my identity, they can have it - but not my money - probably should have waited before reporting that charge - now all the bills will be paid late, yet again - maybe I'll just stop paying the bills - what's the point if the world is going to end in 2012 - wouldn't it be cool if we knew for sure - no, probably not - chaos would ensue. No one would do anything - I bet Disneyland would have an increase in attendance - it is the happiest place on Earth. We need to go there - maybe this fall - I like Disneyland. OK, I really need to go to sleep - stop thinking - I wish I had an off button - that is what I need an off button - OK, seriously go to sleep, say Hail Mary's that helps - Hail Mary full of grace - remember that one time you said 150 Hail Mary's and still didn't fall asleep? I wonder if you could say 500 without falling asleep - stop thinking - pray - Hail Mary full of grace the Lord is with thee - that dog really needs to be quiet - he is disrupting my vibe - might as well get up, they say if you don't fall asleep within 20 minutes you should get up and move around - I envy those people who can lie their head on the pillow and fall asleep - I should exercise more - of course school starts next week - pray Lisa pray - Hail Mary full of grace the Lord is with thee blessed art thou amongst women - why do women make less money than men - funny how are society is more sexist than racist - and what if you are a minority woman - boy you really have to battle on two fronts - I like that show food truck race - maybe I will start a food truck - I like to cook and meet people - I'm not going to sleep am I? No, not for a good long time - what time is it? 3:37! Dang, OK, read a book - what should I read? This sucks, I wish I had an off button."

Wondering

Have you ever wondered how many times a person brushes their teeth in their entire life time - I am 47 years and 10 days old - if I brush my teeth an average of two times per day (granted I did not brush my teeth when I was a baby and had no teeth - but we are just wondering things here, we don't have to be exact) I have lived 17, 175 days - brushing my teeth two times a day = 34,350 times - that is a lot of toothpaste. How about how many times have you eaten breakfast. I don't eat breakfast everyday but if I did I would have eaten 17, 175 breakfast meals. That is a lot of eggs. So how many showers have I taken? 17,175 - No, can't say I have showered every day. When we go camping I don't shower. Might be the best part about camping - no showers! I do brush my teeth though - brush, floss, brush! There are some (and I won't name names) whom choose to make fun of me for my dental hygiene. Now let's wonder about work - I started working as a full time teacher at the 20 years of age - that makes 26 years of working. On average I work 225 days a year times 26 years =5,850 days. Of course that does not count the years I worked before the age of 20. Goodness when we owned Tony's we worked everyday. That was 5 years of working everyday. 5 times 365 = 1,825 days plus 5,850 days = 7,675 days of work. Now if I add the days I worked prior to Tony's, babysitting, umpiring, painting/wallpapering/building a house - things like this I'll add another 100 days of work - 7,775 days of work. 17,175 days of life minus  7,775 days of work = 9,400 days I have not worked. Almost half of my living days I have worked - dang that is a lot! 47 birthdays - 17,175 days of life. So I wonder how many baseball games I have watched...162 games in a season; I'll say I watch half of them (that is just an estimate some years more some years less) 81 games a year times 47 years3,807 games. Of course you have to subtract the years when I was too young to watch games - So lets round it to 3,000 baseball games. This is fun! Sometimes being completely rational is the best way to go. Watching the Bones marathon with Emily. The lead character is brilliant and scientific - everything makes sense when you look at it from her analytical point of view. The only time she runs into trouble is when she allows feelings into the her equation - for some reason she keeps falling in love with killers. I think that is just a plot line. Talk about bad judgement! I wish I had an IQ over 200. One time I scored 159 on an IQ test - that is one point shy of genius. Just one point. Just one answer or partial answer could have put me in the genius status - that would be cool to say; "I am a genius." I am so not a genius - Did you know that everyday 36 children find out they have cancer. Doesn't that seem like a lot of kids? How awful! That is a number, a statistic we don't need. Of course it does seem the experts find a new cause for cancer everyday. One day you should not eat ice cream, the next day it is hot dogs - the air we breathe, the cars we drive, the paint on our walls! Is anything safe? I watch a lot of television - in my 17,175 days of life (That doesn't seem like a lot of days, are my calculations bad, I am not a math whiz!) That one point on the IQ test was probably on a math question. Anyway, 4 hours times 17,175 days times 4 hours = 68,700 hours of television watching. If I divide the hours total by 24 = 2,865 days of television watching - OK, that is a lot I'll give you that. Everyone has their guilty pleasures. There should be a double factor in there because the hours of television watching include baseball games which I already calculated - so I won't double count those hours. How much time do you reckon I spend on the computer? How many games of softball have I played? How many meals have I cooked - should I count all the dishes of spaghetti from Tony's? That would be a lot of pasta served. Go ahead - choose something you have done a lot of and calculate the number of times you have done so in your lifetime. It can be fun. Or maybe you don't have anything better to do - or like me you are trying to avoid doing your homework. Lisa out!

Mr. Robinson

I met Mr. Robinson some 14 year ago. He came to work as a teaching assistant. Many a day he would meander into my classroom and chat. Not knowing who he was, I was not sure how to take his outgoing personality. Over time I was won over. Mr. Robinson has nothing bad to say about anyone. He is always there to help. I can't count the number of times he has been there to save me. He has always helped me move - now that is friendship. My circle of friends became a circle because of Mr. Robinson. He was the center which we all gravitated to. Mr. Robinson has a heart as big as Texas. He always thinks of other people before he thinks of himself. Mr. Robinson is now my teaching assistant. I'll tell ya, I could not still be teaching if I did not have his help. He holds me up on the days when I don't think I can stand. He protects me from the more difficult moments. He shields me from the BS. When the day gets long, he finds a way to bring laughter into the room. He helps me keep it all in perspective. Mr. Robinson walks across campus and all the children run to him. They all want a moment of his time. You know what is amazing? He remembers everyone's name. Every student, every staff member. Birthdays, anniversaries, births...he remembers them all. I can hardly remember the names of the students in my classroom. Mr. Robinson, he is an angel. There are those who don't understand why Mr. Robinson is so well liked. That baffles me. What is not to like. Mr. Robinson helps everyone. If a teacher is carrying books or bags, Mr. Robinson is the first to offer his help. He is the first to offer assistance or support. Mr. Robinson does not say no. I don't reckon he knows how to say no. Mr. Robinson is a great son, he is a great brother, he is a great friend. Mr. Robinson is a great man. Today is Mr. Robinson's birthday - the mold was broken after he was born. There are so few people in this world who will put everyone else first - who offer gifts without expectations - he makes life easier, he carries your burdens as if they were his own. When I hurt, he hurts with me - When I laugh he laughs with me. Don't know how I would survive if not for Mr. Robinson - Donald, my friend! We should all be so lucky to have a Donald in our lives. We should all learn from him. Though I may try, I could never repay him for everything he has given me. He has taught me so much. On this day of his birth I hope he knows just how special he is. How unique his quality of character is. People such as Donald don't come around too often - I thank God for blessing me with Donald's love and his friendship. It's not Donald's fault he likes the Lakers or the Rams - those might be his only flaws - he has poor taste in sports teams. There are life events that Donald wants - he would be such a great dad and a great husband - he sacrifices his own dreams to take care of everyone else. He makes that sacrifice without complaint or notice - but I notice. I know. I know of who you are Mr. Robinson and I thank God for sending you to me - for without you I would be a lesser person. Without you my life would have less light - my days would be longer - without you Mr. Robinson there would be a piece of me missing a part of me unfulfilled - you are indeed one of a kind - Thank you Donald, from the bottom of my heart Thank you!

The Signing Bee

Have y'all watched this show The Singing Bee? What a silly show - these wanna be singers filling in the blanks to complete a song. Someone told this girl she looked good in a blue sequins top with a jean jacket - WRONG! The dude contestant was 5 feet tall, a cheer leading coach, and his name was Rocky. If your a 5 foot dude and a cheer leading coach you better have a name like Rocky. Though I don't imagine his name is really Rocky - he must have been picked on a lot - on top of it all he could not sing. Not that I can sing, but I know I can't sing so I would not go on a show called The Singing Bee. I did well filling in the blanks. It was on CMT so mostly country songs which was to my advantage - Still I would not bring humiliation to myself on purpose. I can humiliate myself without going on national television. In church I like to sing the hymns. I like to sing them loud. Sing out, you know, so God can hear me - God is probably wearing ear plugs when I sing - No doubt he wishes I would offer praise in a quieter manner. Perhaps silent prayer or random acts of kindness, anything except singing. Eileen does not allow me to sing when I am around her. Maybe she is jealous of my voice. Maybe she just can't take the sound my voice produces. Do you understand why people choose to go on shows such as these. Like American Idol, chances are you are going to get torn to shreds by the judges; why do that to yourself? There is that cooking show with Gordon Ramsay. Talk about a man who needs a Valium! He has some serious "people" issues. Yet people go through all the trouble to get on that show. As for me, life is enough of a kick in the pants - I don't need to go on television for more beating. Americas Got Talent - Ah, no not really. There is that little girl - she sings like an angel the rest of them, well let's just say juggling watermelons while holding a chain saw isn't really talent. What would even make you think of such a thing. Was that dude sitting around one day wondering if he could juggle two watermelons and a chain saw? Who even has two watermelons lying around the house. One watermelon is really big - who buys two watermelons? Does he keep the chainsaw in the kitchen - maybe just in case the meat is tough and the steak knives won't cut it. Maybe he used the chainsaw to cut up the watermelons. I don't know it just seems so silly. There is a show about pitching your invention ideas. Some people have crazy ideas - I know I have crazy ideas, like disposable underwear. That is a good idea. Always washing and washing our underwear, why not just wear them and toss them out? White socks are healthy for your feet but really a bad idea. How many times can you wear white socks before the bottom is no longer white? And why can't you ever get them white again? Does the manufacturer put some stain holder in the bottom so they will hold the stain thus forcing you to buy new socks. Talk about planned obsolescence! We are all planned obsolescence aren't we? Our skin wrinkles, our eyes get bad, we lose our teeth, our hair - the whole body is a configuration of parts which will break down. Not much we can do about it either. My arms are not long enough to read anymore - in that I have to hold reading material at just the right distance to see it. Even as I type this, I can't really see what I am typing. If I take my glasses off I can't see it at all. If I leave my glasses on I have to move the computer out of arm's length to read what I am typing - but then I can't type - hard to type when you can't reach the keys. I squint and move the computer back and forth - gets the job done - I would like to try that lasik surgery. I've worn glasses since I was 9 - it would be nice to see without them. The glasses I mean, not my eyes. Another things, if Midas can put brakes on my truck which come with a lifetime warranty why doesn't Ford put brakes on my trucks which are good for the life of the truck? Wouldn't that make more sense? Does Ford think I am going to go to a dealership and pay $200 for brakes that won't last a lifetime when I go to Midas and get a lifetime warranty on $60 dollar brakes? Why doesn't the government require this? Another thing; they have those tank less water heaters which save money and energy - why are we not getting them? Why doesn't the government subsidize a program to put these in every home? Why don't we get free solar panels? Wouldn't that make sense? This is California. The sun shines a lot - if having two solar panels could decrease our electrical use by 60% why doesn't the government make this happen? Congress spent 3 million dollars on a study to determine if people want safe drinking water - Duh! Could they have spent that 3 million dollars providing solar panels and lifetime brakes? There is so much waste in our government. So much waste in business. The bigger the business the greater the waste. We pay for senators to vacation in the Bahamas. I don't vacation in the Bahamas, why should they? Too much nonsense in the world today. I am so not down with the anti-Islamic movement sweeping our nation. We are better than that. What is that saying...they came for the African Americans but it wasn't me so I did not speak up, they came for the Jews but it wasn't me so I didn't speak up, they came for the sick but it wasn't me so I didn't speak up - then when they came for me there was no one left to speak up - that is not the exact quote but it is so true. If we allow bigotry, racism, intolerance of any kind - if we allow a group of people to be prosecuted just for who they are, it won't be long before we are all put in groups - then one by one we will be prosecuted. Standing in silence, or looking the other way - that is not good enough. We have to speak out in defense of one another - We don't have to agree with those we defend, we do have to defend their right to be who they are. No, I don't mean defend the speakers of hatred - though even they have a right to speak - but we do have to protect one another. All religions, all people, there is room for everyone - What you do for the least of your brother this you do onto me - what you don't do, this to is not done for me - OK, I made up the last part but it is true. Either by commission or omission we are guilty. When we hear people generalizing about all Jewish people as being "tight" and we don't speak up - we are as guilty as the person speaking. When we hear someone speak of all Islams as terrorists and don't speak up - we are guilty. There is a greater responsibility towards all humanity for which we must hold one another accountable. I'm not going to march in the streets, but I won't allow hatred or intolerance - at least not in my presence. When I accepted the fact that I was gay it was difficult. I was so scared people would slam doors in my face. You know what, some people did. Some people whom I thought were my friends, they never spoke to me again. One time I was driving on Santa Monica Blvd. when a truck pulled up beside me - the passenger in that truck started shouting; "Hey dyke get off the road." I was shocked. There have been parents who wanted their children taken out of my room - kids use the word "faggot" all the time - calling someone "gay", well on the playground those are fighting words. Too often the adults don't say anything - it's not the same as using the N word or the B word - WHAT? Of course it is. How did I get here from the singing bee? Goodness my mind can meander - which reminds me of my Life is Good shirt...Not all who meander are lost. I'm not lost, but I do like to meander. Have a good one - Lisa out!

Billboards

On my way home today I saw a billboard which read; "Are You Still A Virgin?" Then it offered an eight hundred number to call for help - WHAT? Why would anyone who was a virgin call an 800 number for help? What is wrong with being a virgin? Is that a law they passed when I wasn't looking? Is there some "virgin" factor which they are now trying to link to cancer? If you were a virgin, would you seriously call an 800 number to ask for help? What would the help be? A call girl sent to your house? A make-over so you would be more attractive? Maybe two tickets to Vegas? Really, what help does a virgin need? Know where this billboard was? (Well of course you don't you didn't see it, I did) It was posted on the corner of Vermont and 3rd - Know what's on the corner of Vermont and 3rd (Some of you might know that one) Well it is a middle school! Yep, in front of a MS, there is a billboard advertising help for anyone who is still a virgin - Is it just me or is that CRAZY? Do we want to help middle school children get laid? Are we trying to encourage teen age pregnancy? I know school enrollment is down, but is this the way to solve that problem? OK, so this is LA - the possibility does exist that this billboard is for a movie or TV show or some other such nonsense - but look where they put it - in front of a MS - that is baffling. Why hasn't anyone complained about this? Why hasn't the principle of the school or a parent called and complained about the placement of a help for virgins hot line number being placed in front of a middle school - At the turn from Vermont onto the 101 there was another billboard - this one had the picture of a woman - are you tired, do you have a rash, do your joints ache - and the woman asking; "Do I have lupus?" It included a website which I don't recall, something like doihavelupus.gov - Now, y'all know I have lupus so awareness about the disease is good. Perhaps with more awareness there will be better treatment options and the cure we all know is around the corner - This billboard though, it is kind of weird...billboards are for advertising beer, or a movie, or a television show - billboards to solicit sickness - that seems odd to me. Same thing with the commercials I see about hospitals and cancer centers - Hospitals actually have commercials encouraging you to go their facility should you need medical treatment. If I am in an accident am I really going to flip through my commercial memory for the hospital which had the best commercial? What if a really good hospital has a bad ad campaign? I don't go to the really good hospital and go to a crappy hospital because one had a better commercial than the other. Maybe we shouldn't allow hospitals to solicit business by advertising. You could send me a flyer in the mail but a television commercial which shows doctors and nurses and smiling sick people - that is odd. Besides, patients don't smile when they are in the hospital - who wants to be in the hospital? Picture it - "Honey that commercial for Cedars Sinai was so great I think you should take me there right now, I might need an appendectomy." Sometimes a commercial for Subway spurs a craving for Subway, or Burger King - I might even move my lazy butt and go get something to eat - but will a commercial for a hospital wet my appetite for an IV? Will a billboard advertising lupus increase the number of people who have lupus? Does someone driving by that billboard say; "Heck yes I have lupus then go immediately to the hospital with the best commercial for treatment?" That is just silly. It isn't though is it? Why do we want to stop young people from choosing to remain virgins and to encourage woman to have lupus - and why in the world would advertising a hospital be good for anything? The world is getting more strange by the day. Even by my standards the world is getting twisted - Tomorrow I will probably see an ad encouraging drug use followed by an ad for the best rehab center in the world - Goodness gracious what is going on?