Legacy

So apparently my idea of showing up as being enough reason to show up doesn't fly with everyone. I chewed upon that for a while - then the concept of our legacy came up - no, in ten, twenty years no one will put up a statue in my name. No, there won't be a scholarship named after me. No, there won't be a foundation or any other such thing - That is not to be my legacy. If then what is to be my legacy? My professional career dedicated to working with students who are differently abled - that is something. In some of that I know I made a difference. For some of the children I know I made a difference. Oh, maybe they won't remember me in ten years, and maybe the only difference was in one moment of one day - but that counts. Not perfect, no I have never done that. Wish I could - sometimes I tried - too many times I just gave up. That was a mountain too high to climb. I tried to be the best daughter I could; to all my parents - I had more than my share - one loss became many blessings. Sometimes blessings bear weight, and you can't have one without the other. That is just the way it is. You know, no sunshine without the rain. I'm cool with that. Then I reckon a time comes when you just get tired. That is alI am now, I am tired. Trying every day to do more and be more...knowing I am just the same simple person I have always been. Isn't that all any of us are. Fame, money - they don't change what struggles happen inside one's soul - we love we lose, we try we fail, we shoot we score - it is the same for all of us. This is the human connection that we so often forget about. The tie which binds us all. No matter your station, in the grand scheme of things, I reckon we all just do the same as the other - we all just do the best we can. Is it enough? Heck if I know. I don't know anything about anything. I am tired. Tired is not a good place. Son's of Anarchy was good tonight. Though so much violence is really bad - The character, Jax, well he tries to do the right thing but in doing that he has to walk away from everything he ever new. That sucks! The one guy trying to do the right thing ends up losing everything to save the idiots doing the wrong thing - the innocent children get left behind - No, that is just plain wrong. Now I have to watch Sheryl Crow singing Christmas Carols - Where is The Biggest Loser? Shucks.
Anyway, my point - Oh, I don't think I have one. What will my legacy be? Who the heck knows - we don't get to choose our legacy, that is for others to speak about or not speak about. No, we get to choose how we live today - we get to choose the path of kindness and love or selfishness and apathy. It is up to each of us...not because you want a statue put up in your honor - only because your Momma taught you to be a good person, or because you have blessings in your life, or because you have life, and you have choices, and you can see beyond the one block you live on and you don't sleep on the floor or in the bathtub for fear of bullets coming through the windows - You have food in your stomach, and maybe you can't go out and buy a new car, but you have a car - you have a place to live, you have shelter - It isn't about what you leave behind it is about how you live today - heck, when you get to heaven, you'll see what you left behind - and yes, I would like to be Jimmy Stewart in It's a Wonderful Life. I would like to know that one act I committed on this Earth rippled across the lives of many - and in the one act, something good happened. Is that wrong? I don't know. I just want to be more than the paperwork I complete, the bills I pay, the checks I earned - I just want my life to be more than that. I better go to bed I am tired. Oh, and by the way - did they change the law about using turn signals?  I don't think people use them anymore and maybe the law was changed while I was watching a football game and I missed the news. They still make cars with turn signals. People should use them. It is a good idea. That is why they put the signals on the cars to begin with. What is wrong with people? They sure know how to use the stereo and play with so much bass my heart pounds to the beat of the song playing in the car next to me - And that is OK, as long as they use their turn signals.