Christmas

When we were little girls living on Franklin Street - Christmas was, well it was magic. The day after Thanksgiving we all went to select a tree, down at the fairgrounds, they sold them there then. Picking a tree was an all day event. The poor dude who had to lift, shake, and turn every tree in the lot until Mommie found the perfect tree - Then the tree had to spend the night in the garage. The next morning if the branches had not fallen correctly we were back to the Fairgrounds to find another tree. On a couple of occasions the branches fell correctly and the tree was allowed in the house. Once the tree warmed it had to undergo further inspection - still not too late to kick it to the curb. One year, after the tree was decorated Mommie was not pleased. The tree must go. So we took off the decorations, donated the tree to a family with none, and off we went in search of a better one. Mommie took Christmas to heart - she started shopping in July. Then she would stash gifts everywhere. More than once she forgot where - There was not a speck of the house, inside or out left untouched by her Christmas spirit. She loved Christmas! Us four girls would prepare a Christmas program. On Christmas Eve, the adults would go from house to house for a cup of Christmas cheer - when they arrived at our house, Rosie, Linda, Aldona Mae and I would sing a few Christmas songs. Then the adults would leave and we would finish their drinks - OK, that wasn't the smartest thing but we were kids. One year Linda drank too much egg nog - she projectile vomited unto the black and pink tile in the bathroom, I have not touched egg nog since, that memory has both visual and smell effects (I know there is a technical word for smell memories I just can't think of it, which goes to another medical word about forgetting, alas, I can't remember that either) I can tell you I do not know what possessed Daddy Pat to put pink and black tile on the walls of the bathroom - seeing egg nog run down that black tile, well - that memory sticks! One time after we finished the leftovers, no point in wasting, we decided to go outside sledding. On the North side of the house was a two foot hill, which at the time appeared much bigger - we had those red snow sleds with the yellow handles, well Rosie took off flying, missed a left and gashed her head on the corner of the house - brick house - it was a nasty gash on her forehead....we were not At all concerned about her health, we feared Christmas would be cancelled if we could not come up with a plausible explanation for this gash - We four, collectively, sobered up in a quick minute - Rosie's severe injury resulted when she was unplugging the Christmas lights around the fireplace. Problem solved, though I reckon Rosie was in a good deal of pain. On Christmas Eve, we pushed Rosie and Aldona Mae's twin beds together and the four of us slept, or giggled, or listened attentively for Santa on the roof - all night long...kids always fall asleep, even when they are determined to stay awake. Christmas Morning was simply magical. Mommie and Daddy Pat with a bit of the hair of the dog, and each of us girls unwrapping gift after gift. Seemed no matter how hard the economic times were, Mommie and Daddy Pat found a way to give us exactly what we wished for. Santa existed and we believed. Little Gram always sent a box with gifts for each of us girls - Rosie, Linda and Aldona Mae would get some princess sheets or PJ's, I would get cowboys and Indians - Little Gram knew something - Our biological mother (Linda and I), her mother was still alive, and she sent gifts of German chocolate and trinkets from Germany. That was some really good chocolate. She always included a letter, written in German, which we had no idea how to read - There was a man who went to the Tavern who could read some German, so we had to wait for his translation - We had a big Christmas dinner, staying in our Christmas PJ's all day - then dressing in our Christmas dresses, picture after picture taken with the Kodak camera back when you could look at your picture a few minutes after you took it. On the television, Christmas Eve was Channel 11's Yule Log - a fake log looking thing with Christmas music playing. We had a fireplace with a real fire, the Yule Log was always a must. You can still find the Yule Log on QVC channel Christmas Eve, or at least you could - I know it is out there because I seek it and find it every year. I do believe it is the QVC channel. Magic - Mommie made Christmas a magical event. She made Christmas beautiful, her spirit gave Christmas beauty, peace, joy, laughter - so much. During the Holidays so many feel sadness, or have the Holiday blues - not me. No matter what the circumstance of my life - Christmas is still the magic I remember Mommie creating for us. Linda and I the same as Rosie and Aldona Mae - we were loved and that loved was expressed every day - but Christmas...we were all one and it makes me cry, still today, the joy that day filled me with. I know, I know, revisionist history is what Aldona Mae and Rosie will call my retelling - It is not, Mommie's Christmas spirit was the same her last year on this Earth as it was when I was 4. Mommie's love for her children was so great, from the first breath they took, until the last breath she took - Mommie's desire to give of herself, to give you whatever your heart desired, her spirit of giving - giving because she loved to see the joy on your face - she gave for the purest of reasons, and she believed in Christmas as a magical time when all was possible and that you could indeed, at least for one day, let all the worries set on the back burner, and that you could just for this one day get lost in holding the spirit of love, giving, family and laughter. Mommie believed that, she lived that, she wanted more than anything else to please her children - to give to others - the capacity she had to give of herself, well, Aldona Mae has her mother's spirit for giving - Aldona Mae gives and gives, literally she has given the coat off her back to someone who needed it more than she - and no matter the circumstances during which she is living - Christmas is still a magical time when all is suspended for the beauty and joy of giving - And now Aldona Mae creates that magic for Jessica Rose, and seeing it, having the privilege to be witness to it - well, it brings me back to seeing Mommie - because if nothing else, Aldona Mae has become Mommie - How lucky I am; Mommie and Aldona Mae give to others for givings' sake, how magnificent! And neither of them, Mommie or Poopy, truly realize the gift they give me for allowing me to share in their spirit of giving and Christmas - There are times when I wish I had ten sisters and brothers and every year we all assembled at our family compound for Christmas, and there were 40 grandchildren and cousins, and nieces and nephews - but that is not the life I was given - I was blessed to know love, to feel love, to be witness to the power of love - and I lost too many people when I was way too young; yet, I not only survived, I thrived; I thrived because Mommie held me and loved me, because Rosie and Poopy call me their sister, because for my entire life my best friend has always been Eileen - because I had Little Gram and I met God. There is so much for which I am thankful for - so much which I was given and allowed me to head tomorrow to Texas to spend Christmas with Poopy - No matter, should this be my last Christmas or the first of the next fifty Christmas's - it will become the most special - and though I wish I was going to be with Emily and Liz this Christmas - and I wish Rosie, Linda and Aldona Mae and I could all be together - I only wish for a moment, then as my heart fills with love, with such wonderful memories, as my spirit is lifted above the circumstances of today - I am transported back to a chilly November jaunt around the Fairgrounds, seeking perfection in a tree, walking with Mommie and feeling sorry for the poor dude who had to lift, shake, and turn every tree on the lot - the tree was only a symbol - the spirit of Christmas, giving - well, from the moment I took my first breath I have been given love - and when I take my last breath, I will leave here and go home to love - So, yes Eileen, I am little Tiny Tim Lisa, because though I have bent I have not broke - and now, here, today - I blessed because I know that love does prevail, and it cures, and it gives us strength we never knew we had - and I know love is life, and I know I am loved. For each of you, celebrate life, celebrate the gifts you have, your family, your friends, your lovers and partners, significant others - and for a few days, let go of the circumstances - and feel the magic, close your eyes and feel the magic - it is right here! Jesus gave us his life, in return he only asks we give of ourselves, it isn't the presents under the tree, it is the spirit in your heart which brought the gift to the tree - and the joy you feel in the giving - One day I was born, and my mother died, and then I was born again because Mommie and Daddy Pat loved me - Christmas, oh how wonderful!
God Bless you all, keep you safe, and may you feel the magic!