20 Seconds

     ...20 seconds; that is how long you have to take a room's temperature and formulate a plan. 20 seconds to decide if you are safe or in danger. 20 seconds to escape unnoticed or get snagged. 20 seconds to get between the fight, flee the scene, or take what is coming. 20 seconds for your senses to dictate your actions. God help you if you are wrong!
     If you are wrong you will not escape the plastic snap of an orange Hot Wheels track against your back. If you are wrong you will spend the night locked in the root cellar; hunched on the top step - listening to the critters scatter below you. Feel the cobwebs form around you.
     20 seconds...count it out. It is not that much time. Yes, measure my life in love - my childhood...20 seconds.
     It becomes a skills test. A test you really want to pass. As your skills are honed you learn. You learn that knowledge does not equal power. You learn love is painful. You figure out, in 20 seconds, how little meaning your life has.
     Then, I reckon, when you are down to the end of your life you beg for 20 more seconds. That is irony.
     All of it would be easier if 20 seconds only mattered at one place. It mattered everywhere. There was no time for sleeping. No time for resting. You had to remain vigilant! You had to keep track. How hard did the car door close? What color are his shoes? Whose hand is opening your bedroom door? Whose hand has you by the hair?
     It is shorter than a television commercial. Not much longer than two sneezes and a God Bless You. Tick, tick, tick...listen with your ears, your eyes, your instincts. Be right!
      When your wrong - keep counting. 20 seconds is 5 blows to the face. Do what you are told 20 seconds at a time. Hold your breath for 20 seconds. 20 seconds more. Keep focused on that bare light bulb just 20 seconds.
     Nights can be long spent 20 seconds at a time. They could be longer if you lose count.
Watching the cursor flash 20 times. I cannot write what I see. No, the contents of this box - count 20 seconds. Keep counting. Write 20 letters. abcdefghijklmnopqrst - Hail Mary full of grace the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst woman. Blessed is the fruit of - not even one Hail Mary. Quicken your pace. You can say an entire Hail Mary in 20 seconds.
     Can't do it. I see it. My skin crawls. muscles twitching eyes darting listen to Zuko breathe stay here stay here it is just an image from a box listen to Zuko he had another seizure he needs you here listen count stay here count each tear reach 20 then move on do not close your eyes listen to Zuko breathe stay here breathe in deep exhale slowly no there is no understanding you won't find anything it was not your fault or was it listen to Zuko breathe -
     Can't do it. Can't do it. What I see no one should see. Nope 20 seconds is not a very long time...or it is a lifetime.