Things My Mother Said...

My mother use to say; "I'll tell you one thing, and it won't be two things." I don't know what that means. I never have. She liked to say; "To make a long story short." My mother never told a short story. Every story meandered across hours, days, months, even years. Each story had a meaning - if you could pay attention long enough you could get the meaning. She was a wise woman. A bartender and hashslinger by trade, she believed it was important to be up to date on politics and sports. She always thought if she could converse with her customers she would get better tips. In reality, it made her a trivial pursuit champion. She knew answers to questions I could not even give a reasonable guess to. My mother would cut my hair because; "Bangs in your eyes will make you cross eyed." "Stop making that face or your face will freeze that way." I liked to wear hats, my mother believed I was going to go bald. at 47 I have really nice hair. OK, she got that one wrong. Sometimes my mother would say; "If  I look at you cross-eyed you cry." I never saw my mother look at anyone cross eyed. Though I will admit to an ease of tears. The most valuable lessons my mother shared with me included; "Keeping the peace." "Don't rock the boat." "Put yourself in their shoes." My mother would do anything for a stranger. Give the coat off her back to someone she saw in need of a coat. We were not rich but she had a stash of cash somewhere, so when I needed new sneakers for basketball, I got them. When I wanted to cover my bedroom walls with black fur she drove me the 60 miles to the mall, went to the fabric store, and would have happily payed the exorbitant amount of money it would have required to cover my walls. When I saw how much black fur costs,(go figure that, black fur material was really expensive) I declined. She would have done it though. When I speak of my mother you should know she chose me to be her daughter. My biological mother died while giving birth to me. I have a biological sister, she was only 1 year old. My biological father, losing his wife, with two infant daughters, well he was lost. My biological grandmother and Aunt wanted to take my sister and I home with them - they lived 6 hours a way and my biological father did not want us that far away - Mommie had two grown sons and a four year old at home - she was the bartender at the bar my biological parents frequented - she and her husband offered to take my sister and I. Isn't that remarkable? So to say I have an affection for my mother is a drastic understatement - I adored her, respected her, worshipped the ground she walked on. I hung on her every movement and her every word. Reckon there is nothing I would not have done for her. When she fell ill she asked me to come home. I was living in California and she asked me to come home. Without hesitation I resigned my job, packed my Hyundai, and with my sister, we drove across the country. For three years I had the privilege of being with my mother. During that time we went through a lot. Doctors who were useless and pains I could not stop. I prayed to God she would get better. Then in her last days, I prayed to God to take her home. Not a day has passed over the last 18 years when I don't think about her, or talk to her, or listen to my memories for her wisdom. My mother said; "Your sisters are the people who will be with you forever, through everything, always stay close with your sisters, no matter what." I'm working on it Mommie. "Not worth a fart in a mitten." She said that a lot - what does that mean? Most people are born into their family. I was given a family. You can never underestimate the power of love.  I don't know if Mommie knew when she took my sister and I in how much turbulence it would bring to her family. I don't know if she knew how much she gave two little girls. I hope she did. In my life, when I am in doubt, I ask myself; "What would Mommie want me to do?" The answer comes to me, and this is what I do. No way I could ever repay her all she gave me. I have three sisters, two brothers, Aunts, Uncles, Nieces, Nephews - all of this because a wise woman, who tended bar, had the biggest heart on Earth. My mother often said; "You never lose what you give away, so give it all." I'm trying Mommie - I am trying!