What is beautiful?

So this weekend is our 30th high school reunion. We pulled out the yearbook, you know, looking at the people and such- wondering how many people might still look like they did 30 years ago. I don't reckon many of us look like we did 30 years ago! In 30 years a lot of life happens-and all that life changes us, not just emotionally, but physically. Most of us will wear more lines on our faces, laugh lines, worry lines, just plum wore out lines, many of us will wear scars, some visible, some not- many people will be complete transformations from the ackward teenagers we were in 1981-and some will have lost the confidence of their youth, perhaps becoming awkward adults...yup, a lot happens in 30 years. I have not attended a HS reunion, née erase a reason to. Then FB came along, and I began to make connections with people from HS, and then I wanted to see those people. Now I don't know if the whole thing will just be a boring waste of time; though I don't believe it will. During my recent health battles many of my '81 classmates sent me cards or good thoughts and this really touched me. In HS I imagined myself a ghost, walking the halls of FA invisible to the majority. That wasn't so true after all. Some folks actually knew who I was and they remembered me. Had actual memories of me. I was shocked by this. Being invisible was my secret weapon, turns out I was not invisible and I did not need a secret weapon. One person who will not beat our reunion is Ted Dufrane. Ted and I had a very special bond. Soul mates, we were soul mates we loved one another and we had big plans and big dreams- we were either going to change the world or find someplace where no one could find us. Then life happened and I went off to college and Ted joined the Air Force-we did meet again, then a simple twist of fate seperates us. Ted passed away, I was not able to tell him how his presences in my life made my life have so much more meaning. Perhaps this is why I wanted to attend this reunion. We dont always know the role we play in someone else's life. We are not always aware of the impact we can have, sometimes positive, sometimes negative...being in Malone, has a funny affect on me. It is "home" yet it isn't. Spent some of the best years of my life here and some of the worst years of my life here. I reckon as we age, we are looking for a place of peace where we can lie our head each night, we are looking for the company of those who know all our secrets and love us anyway, and we are looking for some quiet spot beneath a tree, or up on a hill, or next to a river, where we know resting there for eternity will be just fine. There are so many blessings God has given me, and while in 1981 I wanted to get as far away from Malone as I could, in 2011 I find myself yearning for the company of those who knew me then and still like me today. We are lucky really, growing up in a small town, on a whim and an hours notice you can have ten people and a cookout with vegetables you picked from the garden, family and friends, a comfortable chair to nap in, and some darn good deviled eggs to eat. That is a gift. While I could do the same thing in LA, except the fresh veggies from the garden, guess that makes me doubly blessed...I am bi-coastal with friends and family either way. I could leave LA, stay in Texas with Poopy Sister, head to Carolina to see Rosie, Michelle & Aaron, skip up tp NY see Jayne'T-across to Boston to see my Bug A Boo, come back to NY and rest my head oh so many places, best right here with Eileen though-she laughs at my foibles and cries at my mountains-yes, I have a wonderful life! And imagine, I am just getting started! It is exciting, imagining what adventures await me! First though, I have this HS reunion to attend-do you think it will be totally weird?