I Was Thinking

Last night I was thinking again about the "Letting Go." Recognizing how difficult such a process can be, I figured there must be a manual. I checked Amazon books and there are hundreds of self-help books on the subject. Getting Over Your Past, Moving Into Your Future, Being Your Best Self, Finding Your Inner Child - I have read a lot of books on the subject. I needed a lot of help, getting over a lot of stuff! It was a lot of work! Still, there are some pieces of the past which remain. Unable to conquer the all of it I simplified it - live today as best I can. That does sound simple; of course sounding simple and being simple are two different entities. No, it is no easy act - no easy fix - there is no easy how to manual on "Letting Go." I am certain though, this is the course which must be taken. I think it really starts with acknowledging that we are not perfect. Our parents were not perfect. The world is not perfect. I also believe we need to have faith! Faith that the people who hurt us did not do so on purpose - faith in ourselves - we do the best we can...sometimes, maybe often, we have fallen short. Goodness knows, we fall down. It is the getting back up which we have to use as our measuring stick. We can't say; "Wow, look at so and so, how together they are." Chances are they lie awake at night with as many worries as you do. My brother use to say; "If everyone on your street took all their problems and hung them out on the clothes line, then you walked up and down the street, at the end of the day you would go back to your clothes line and take in your own problems." We should try to envision the bag of rocks sitting on the shoulders of others, then be grateful for our own bag of rocks - however heavy, they are probably lighter than those carried by others. Self pity is a real pet peeve of mine. Woe be me sucks! Feeling sorry for yourself is selfish and serves no purpose. Not to say there are not days when we have to just crawl into a ball and let the weight of it all wash over us. That is alright. Just don't hang around that pity pool for too long. It is a waste of time. And time is too valuable to waste. Time is a gift much too precious to give away to the past - which you can't change - or too precious to give to anyone from the past or present who has hurt us. Time is a gift from God - and we need to accept that gift with humility and gratitude; Stop wasting time! I just can't get over it! Bullxxxx! Get over it already! No, it these are not words magically spoken, wave a magic wand, and tada it's gone. It requires a conscious thought process, often on a daily basis, but it can be done. It must be done. Wasting time blaming everyone else for the problems you are facing today is silly. Simply look at the problem, evaluate the possible solutions, choose the best solution, act on that choice, and move on. Though I think it begins within us. We are so hard on ourselves. So sure we are the only ones who have ever screwed up so royally that our behavior is beyond forgiveness. The idea that if someone really knew us - no one would really like us. Shoot, if someone really knew the truth about us; they would find us repulsive. Probably not, people will judge. It is easier to pass judgement on others than to examine oneself. Much easier to point fingers at others than to examine our own place in the world. Maybe that is wherein our problems lie. We don't want to get better, or be better - it is easier to feel sorry for ourselves and to blame others than it is to put in the work and make ourselves better. Why would we choose that? Why when this gift of life is so precious, and love is so beautiful, and God has given us so many blessings - why would we choose to waste one second? I don't get it - I don't have all the answers, don't have all the questions - like I said; I am just trying to move my pile of rocks from one side of the road to the other - I am trying to be a better person, grow and change, develop a deeper understanding of myself and my purpose here. Forgiving others, knowing they are doing the best they can, even when they hurt me or wrong me - More than once I have asked; "How much can one person bear?" Then I have to remember, I can bear whatever it is God asks of me. I might have to chant it over and over and over again. I might need a dip in the pool of self-pity, I might need to get fighting mad - then I have to get back within myself; seek my peace; ask for forgiveness, and "Let it Go!" Don't you wish there were an easier way? An easier path from pain to enlightenment. I know I do. I also know I don't know much. Off I go on my continued quest - if I get any bright ideas  I'll pass them on. If you have any solutions please share them - we all need to help each other, of this I am sure.