Letting Go

My Uncle died yesterday. He was my only biological uncle - and those of you following along know the rest of that story - My Aunt said something which got me to thinking - "It was hard to watch him, hard to let him go." So, I spent the night thinking about this "letting go." The greatest gift we can give a person we love is to let them go - those of us left behind; we suffer the loss. I reckon my Uncle is already playing a round of golf - My Aunt and cousins, they are having to "let go."
The letting go not only happens when we lose someone we love, though I reckon this is the most profound.
I do not know anyone who emerged from childhood without wounds - if we are to heal from these wounds we must grant forgiveness, really give forgiveness, then we have to "Let Go." Teenage years are prime years for mistakes - we make mistakes everyday - some big ones and some little ones, but we made mistakes - the only way to move on from these adolescent mistakes is forgiveness and "Letting Go."
....Then we venture into adulthood, and we really screw up. Part of the screwing up is due to the fact that we did not forgive and "let go" of all the stuff from before - Off into grown up land equipped with anger, bitterness, resentment, and a heaping pile of hanging on to things which cloud our judgement. Then we make grown up mistakes - Now what do we do? We have to find forgiveness and we have to "Let Go."
As I sit here looking around this house, there is so much stuff - stuff I worked hard for - stuff I like to have - but it is just stuff; I need to "Let it Go." As the lyrics in so many songs; If you ain't got nothing you got nothing to lose." This is a place I want to be - I want to have nothing so I have nothing to lose - I'm not referring to people - I love people, I need people, but all of this stuff - It has to go!
What of this nonsense when family members don't talk to one another for twenty years? How silly is that? A lot of times no one even remembers why they started to stop talking in the first place - then someone dies or some other tragic event - and bam, they stand face to face; crying, hugging - saying I'm sorry - wasted twenty good years - the alternative might have been to talk, forgive, and "Let Go." My mother's best friend passed away when they were on the outs - not speaking - Mommie expressed a concern regarding her best friend's daughters' children - Mommie was concerned about their care, shared her feelings with her best friend, then her best friend had a stroke (not directly as a result of that conversation but in the ensuing months) - Mommie sat by her hospital bed, crying and begging for forgiveness; her best friend never regained consciousness, and Mommie could not "Let Go." The pain kept her up many a nights - It is these adult mistakes; these we are hard pressed to forgive ourselves and we are harder pressed to "Let Go."
We have to do this though - We have to "Let Go!." We have to forgive ourselves and then we have to "Let it Go."
Material possessions, grudges, pains from the past, childhood wounds - we have to find forgiveness, forgive ourselves, then we have to "Let Go!"
We can't wait until we our "Letting Go" is the best last gift we give to someone before we forgive and "Let Go!" I refuse that! Will you refuse it with me? Will you refuse to hang on to your failures, your mistakes, your baggage, your stuff...Can you forgive yourself? Will you forgive me the failures, my sins against you? Then will you "Let it Go?" Set me free?
My Uncle is off on his journey to heaven - as I said playing golf - I bet the courses in heaven are beautiful. Maybe I can beat him when I get there. I'll pray for my Aunt and Cousins and for this time when they have to "Let Go."
I'm going to sell some stuff - a lot of stuff, give it to Goodwill; keep five shirts, two pants, some undies and socks - and let go of the rest. The screen saver on my computer is one word; MINIMIZE! I am going to start right here today - I need to forgive myself and "let go." Dang, that won't happen just today, but today I am going to start. I'll sputter, stumble, start, stop, cry, laugh - reckon I'll make new mistakes I'll have to accept, forgive and let go of - Hey, you have to start somewhere.