Hope

12 days ago Eileen found a caterpillar. She brought it inside. It turned into it's cocoon while we were camping. This morning Hope emerged from her cocoon and is now a beautiful butterfly. While yesterday's post was "heavy" it is only one side of my life. The other side is this person who has spent the better part of 3 weeks documenting the amazing miracle of nature. Even as I sit here writing I have one eye on hope...both literally and figuratively. Hope's wings will dry and she will take flight! It won't be long, 30 minutes or so. And I with my scars and damaged pieces will dry my wings and fly-maybe not in 30 minutes, it will happen. During the darkest of my days I have lost hope. In moments of anger & frustration I have given in. Then someone or something would click inside my thick head and I would remember the power of hope. I would remember that I am never alone or that there are so many who carry a cross much heavier than mine. I would remember A & W teen-burgers and root beer on a warm summer evening. I would remember Little Gram giving me unconditional love. I would remember the sacrifices Poopy made to be with me when I most needed her, or her Rosie & I playing Patridge Family with tennis rackets and curling irons in front of the mirror. I would remember chilly fall days and jumping in big piles of leaves or walking for hours around a Christmas tree lot until Mommie found just the right one. I would remember hanging out at the Dairy Queen & trying to kick out the street lights. I would remember riding my Yamaha YZ80 for hours and hours, ah, the freedom that gave me. I would remember how Rosie helped me get into Upward Bound and how Upward Bound was such a gift. I would remember playing softball, or basketball, or volleyball at FA-gosh I loved being a member of a team. The circumstances that left scars did not steal my hope - at times the light dimmed but someone who loved me would come along and change the bulb. Mary Chapin Carpenter song...There's No Such Thing As No Regrets But Baby That's Alright! Yesterday through me for a loop. At 48 (not until next week) I cried myself to sleep last night...but can you see the miracle of God, that I awoke this morning and Hope was born. As she clings to that leaf, I cling to her promise! I did wake up this morning, and I am walking and talking and I have Hope! She is beautiful. Not a silly bug, a beautiful butterfly. I don't reckon we get to understand the pains in our life - we endure them, but we continue on - we cling to all that is good...we open our hearts to love and we love back with all our might. We watch a caterpillar emerge a butterfly and we name her Hope. Today, our world is abound in turmoil and chaos - yet each of us has the opportunity to spread some hope. If we each do it, why I reckon we can make a difference. And perhaps someone whose life we touch, someone who has lost their hope and sits in darkness, well maybe we can change their lightbulb and they will see hope all around them. Sometimes life just sucks, yet we can change our perspective...we can change our own lives, better yet we might just change someone else's. Isn't that just cool?