The Truth

On my left wrist I wear a leather band with the word "TRUTH" on it. I wear it to remind me if you always tell the truth you never have to remember anything. I also wear it as a reminder of what the TRUTH of my life is. While some of those who were suppose to love and protect me did not-my TRUTH is that I survived! Despite what they did to me I thrived! However, today I encountered the man who sexually abused me for three years. That is TRUTH. And when he reached out to hug me I almost vomited. When I was 6 or 7, I don't remember those years so much...this man abused me in ways you cannot imagine-in ways I can't comprehend. This is the TRUTH. I was taken from my Mommie & Daddy Pat, from my sisters Rosemary & Aldona Mae, from my brothers Scotty & Greg...and I went to live in hell! This is TRUTH! What no child should ever have to endure, I survived. When no one believed me, I survived. I learned to separate my body from my mind...then I spent years trying to get my body to forgive my mind. TRUTH! When my biological father made his choice, it was not to protect his daughters, I have long ago forgiven him. I am grateful for the faith I had in God, and thankful because I knew my Daddy Pat loved me. When he learned the TRUTH he wanted to kill the man who stole my innocence, my childhood! Daddy Pat was my hero. Times were so different then. Today the man who abused me would be in jail-but in those days, no one wanted the TRUTH to be known. I was to keep quiet! I did not keep quiet! The TRUTH needed telling! I dont remember why no one believed the TRUTH-I reckon it was easier to deny it! I was a shy, beaten down little girl, but I had a voice because Mommie & Daddy Pat taught me love. I knew what love was-you should not take a little girl from the only family she ever knew and send her to hell! I do not believe in hell as an afterlife option. I lived in hell, I have done my time there! When I die I will go be with Mommie & Daddy Pat, I will once again go home. Any child who endured sexual, physical, or emotional abuse does not forget-this is TRUTH. Then one day God reached down and plucked me from hell, I went home. Mommie & Daddy Pat took me home. The ensuing years were no picnic, but there was love, and love will win! When the day is darkest, love will win! And when your heart is heaviest, love will lift you up! I kmow this TRUTH because after I left my father's I went to Wandas & Franks, they love me. Wanda has always loved me. She & Scotty let me live there during a family crisis - and there she was my Bug A Boo - and we hugged one another with such love...in that hug I felt TRUTH! My damaged & scarred self is not who Amy hugged; she hugged the girl she once asked "Can you be my sister?" this is TRUTH! When I was in hospital for 22
days, Poopy stayed right there with me, every moment...she kept notes, she asked questions,
she saved my life-TRUTH! When Poopy had to leave, Eileen drove back & forth from Burlington 3
times so she could fly across the country and take care of me...this love is TRUTH! Today I
stood in front of the bastard who stole that which can never be given back...then I hugged my
Bug A Boo, and Wanda, I met Rick, Amy's husband, hugged Frank, Wanda's husband - I stopped to
see friends, then came home to Eileen's home, where I am always at home. I teach children who
have special needs - when one of my students is living in their own hell I see it in their
eyes and when I look at them they see TRUTH in my eyes -and they know for the time they spend
with me they are safe. There is no "getting over" rape! You live and you move on and you
achieve just to spite the bastard! The TRUTH, however, one single moment can take away all you
have done - and the TRUTH is you can get a great big hug from your Bug A Boo, and the demons
are shed and you, I can remember the power of love. I can know the TRUTH-yes, something was
taken which no time can replace...yet I survived! I Thrived! I live the TRUTH, maybe it won't
set me free but love will...this is TRUTH!