If we set aside our emotions, analyze our lives in the same manner we would when doing a behavior modification assessment, things would be much easier. Easier, not easiest, just easier. An individual, such as myself would find it just that much easier to regain our place of peace.
Suicide is painless. I cannot endorse that statement. Having attempted suicide myself or been a witness to suicide attempts - I cannot say it is painless - the theme song to M*A*S*H - Suicide is painless; this statement does not ring true. Suicide may begin as a small pebble; given time without intervention it becomes a huge boulder. A pea sized pebble grows into a car sized boulder time. In a short amount of time a tiny pebble becomes a huge boulder. We look back trying to carry that boulder - the other side of the road appears miles away.
God does send us hints and clues-we are so busy searching for answers we are likely to miss our clues. The process goes round and round. No wonder we feel dizzy all the time.
We are taught, when we see only one set of footprints, we are taught this is when Jesus is carrying us. That is if we believe. If we do not believe -those blurred, scratched, and dirty footbrints exist because Jesus is carrying us. When "life"is just to heavy and we are so weak - faith courses through our veins. Doesn't feel so much like that though does it? How many times do we have to dig deeper? Does the day ever come, when we have an Oprah "AHA" moment?
What about the days when we have to close the door on thinking and feeling? Even brave, strong, intelligent, compassionate people just simply fall apart - it is not a sign of failure - reality - it is just reality, moments when we are humbled and grateful for friends, faith, and family.
With so much scandal running through our congregations, we still gather there, we still lean on one another there, we need each other.
Perhaps we start, with only a small grand of sand - but it is a start. We have a beginning. We have HOPE!
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