We might want to remember...

There are those who believe that you must give birth to a child to be a parent - I don't believe that. My mother and father did not "produce" me - they loved me, I was their child. Therefore I don't buy into this notion those of us who did not give birth cannot understand "parenting." I'll tell you this, I know children. I do, I understand children, I am really good with children...I am a teacher because I am good with children. I don't teach to make a living(sure it pays the bills but that is not why I am a teacher). Adults, parents, Aunts, all of us so called grown ups - we forget how much the eyes of children are upon us; we don't always take into account how our behavior is going to impact the innocent souls of children and then we act like plum fools! It's true - we do it, not always with intent, though sometimes it is with intent - I have a hard time believing that, but I know it is true. I know adults who have given birth whom do not deserve one hug from their child. Children love their parents without condition. Little girls want their father's love and will do anything for their mother's approval. Children will look to their parents for the answers to questions they cannot even comprehend - children sense discord in the room before the adults even know there is a storm brewing. Every word a parent says becomes set in concrete in a child's heart. Why don't we remember this. I know most people of my generation emerged from childhood with a lot of scars - but we can't use our raising as an excuse for failing our own children - Oh, sure I know; "Who is she, she never gave birth?" Stop being so foolish people - giving birth does not make you a parent - loving a child makes you a parent-when you give everything to a child this makes you a parent-when you go without so your child can have everything they dream of this makes you a parent, and when you make tough decisions, and create rules, and provide guided discipline, this makes you a parent - allowing your child to try the violin, then the trumpet, then the guitar, then the clarinet, then cheer leading, then soccer, then basketball, then dancing, then writing - paying for swimming lessons, and voice lessons, and planning for your child's education when they are seven - that is being a parent. Giving birth does not make you a parent - You know when you are in a restaurant and you see a parent chastising their child and you just cringe - and your instinct is to go over there and tell that parent to "grow up?" Well, the instinct to protect any child makes you a parent. A parent is not going to impose their beliefs upon their child - My father made sure I went to church every Sunday. Can't say I really liked getting up and going to church - as an adult there is not a day that goes by in which I don't thank my Dad for taking me to church. Not that I go to church every Sunday - but I know God and I have a deep faith, and during the most difficult times of my life that foundation has held me up. He was guiding me, not forcing me, and there is a difference. There is no book on being a parent, and you don't need a license, and you don't need to actually give birth - there are a lot of women who cannot give birth and they are beautiful mothers. There are a lot of sperm donors who have no idea what it means to be a Dad. My perspective on this comes from my life experiences - though my experiences are not unique, they are no way the norm. What we need to remember is that we, adults I am speaking of, we are not perfect, and we are going to make mistakes - and we have unclaimed luggage still rounding that great carousel from the airport of our youth - all of that should be grown up stuff. Stuff that we, the adults, keep in the quiet between us, or within us, and it should not be placed upon the tiny shoulders of any child. And those adults who are not mature enough to know this, well, they should get a long time out - I mean a really long time out. Silly fools who place their immature, unresolved, inner-unhappy child, nonsense and put it on their children - because you know what - your children will carry your weight. They will carry your weight every minute of the day - except if you think about it, what weighs 20 pounds to a 40 year old weighs 100 pounds to a ten year old - No, you don't always get it right, and we make mistakes - there are differences of omission and sins of commission. Mommies love without condition, and they don't put upon their children the scars from their own youth, and they protect their child from everything, and they take the food out of their mouth to feed their child - And Daddy's you are suppose to be heroes - the knight in shining armor riding a white steed, and you are suppose to always understand and to tell your baby - "Don't worry, it's OK, and I am fine. Go have fun." That is it - and when you mess up you kiss it and make it better - and if your lucky and you do the best you can one day  your little baby will step into adulthood, into parenthood, and they will make their own mistakes - then come home and need you to tell them they are a good parent - and you will because you yourself are a good parent - Alright, the whole letting them go is hard, but that is the point - nothing worth doing right is going to be easy. No, I never gave birth. Was not my lot in life - God had other plans for me - Am I judging parents - heck yes, because parents need to remember they are the adults - and the adults, the parents, they are the ones who should take care of your babies, and if you can't do that without heaping your nonsense on your children, well get the heck out of the way and let me do it. I'll buy a big house and take every child whom I see yelled at in a restaurant, or spanked at the store, or arriving to school in dirty clothes - And I'll tell you what - I will be a parent, and a darned good one - because I get it - because my Mommie and Daddy did not give birth to me and they loved me without condition, and they taught me, and sometimes they made mistakes - but they loved me - get that - they loved me, mistakes, flaws, and all - and when I screwed up they loved me more - and yes, sometimes they put their grown up baggage on my shoulders and my shoulders are a little rounded because of it - but I never, not even to this day - never, ever, ever, doubted their love for me. We might want to remember childhood is for children to laugh, skip, run, play, take risks, fall, get up and try again - and we, us parents, our job is to be the net which will always catch them - And it has nothing to do with giving birth - it has to do with your heart and your soul, and your faith, and your belief in a child. Grow up people - Hillary Clinton may have been wrong about some things - but it does take a village - and I am the new sheriff in town - I won't be quiet anymore, I'll call you out in a restaurant, in a store, a parking lot, in your home - And you will not know peace until you do what your suppose to do - you birth giving parents who don't deserve the privilege of those beautiful, innocent eyes, with their unconditional love heart - YOU know who you are and I am watching! We might want to remember love has no condition when you love your child - and you know no wrath like mine - remember that!