Temporary Mini-Societies

Yesterday I had a Drs. appointment. At this particular facility you check in at an outer desk. Then you sit and wait. While waiting in the outer area you are part of a temporary mini-society. The longer the wait, the more involved this society can become. Conversation begins between people who were strangers. Typically, it is about how long the wait or how bad health insurance is - or how the Texas Flu has filled the waiting room with coughing, hacking, sneezing, sniffling, germ transmittors. After a 30 or so minute wait, you are called into another waiting area. Now you are a member of this temporary mini-society. Some of the members may include those from the outer waiting room. Or there are completely new members. Given that you are all waiting to see a Dr. conversation remains similiar. The Health TV monitor delivers important information regarding eating healthy. Advertisements for new medications ramble on with the multitude of possible side effects; then encourage you to speak with your Dr. to see if drug X could be right for you. You wait, and you wait, and you wait - My 10:45 appointment began at 11:55. Now in an actual exam room the technician takes your vital signs. You engage in small talk. A small society. As she leaves she informs you the Dr. will be right with you. WRONG! 15 minutes later the Dr. comes in. A new mini-society. Many Dr.'s don't have time to review your chart. Most information is now scanned into a computer. Most Dr.'s I have seen complain about the computer system as they attempt to pull up my information. Though I waited well over an hour to see the Dr. I appreciated the 50 minutes he spent with me. "So Lisa why are you here today?" In this particular instance I was there because he required a face to face appointment before he would refill my medications. "Well Dr. you said you needed to see me." I reply. I was quite sick yesterday. Had another of those blasted "episodes." They leave my right eye and cheek droopy. My right arm is heavy. It hangs by my slide like a slab of meat at the butcher shop. My right leg is not cooperating, so I drag it. My pain level is 10 out of 10! Nice man this Dr. here in Texas. I have been to see him 4 times now. Each time he asks me what do you do for a living? When I explain I am retired/disability but I taught children with special needs for 27 years he begins to recognize me. Looking as yucky as I did yesterday - the Dr. does not speak to me. Most of his questions and comments are directed at my sister. She is frought with worry and concern. She is also in incredible pain from her arm injury. Eventually, the Dr. just turns his back toward me and speaks exclusively to her. So, in a temporary society consisting of 3 members I have become marginalized. Everything is complicated as I am staying here in Texas but my insurance is out of CA. This old time GP has no answers. Listening to my sister speak and occasionally glancing at me he admits to having no answers or thouhts about my condition. He will however submit the prescriptions I need for renewal. I am most grateful. Back to temporary mini-societies; ever notice on a plane how at first no one speaks to the stranger in the seat next to them. A lot of people read, listen to music, or try to sleep - anything to distract you from the 2 feet of square space you have to inhabit for the next four, five, six hours. Then oddly, as the pilot announces preparation for decent - chatter breaks out all over. This society, for the most part, has been silent. Yet as it is about to be disbanded forever its members begin to chat. I think you learn more about your row mates in the last 30 minutes of a flight than you do in the previous five hours. Of course you might be seated next to that person who talks to you even if you are reading or have headphones on. You learn more about them than you ever wanted to know. Name, destination, purpose, family history, their views on gasoline prices, food prices, lack of a good restuarant in airports. These chatter-boxes are sometimes annoying. Then there are times when their continued narrative makes the time pass faster. Elevators are another place where we become members of that society. If you are on the second or third floor your membership is brief. If you are riding to the 15th or 20th floor together, chances are some sort of conversation will break out. These conversations often are commentaries about a member of that society who has left. "Whoa, can someone say too much perfume!" "That man needs to button his shirt." "Do you think they looked in the mirror before they left the house?" With more individuals using public transportation temporary mini-societies adjourned and disband each morning and each evening. The first group are those you wait on the platform with, or at the bus stop with. Then another society is formed on the train or bus. People begin to have "their" seat. You begin to have deeper conversations. However, when you reach your stop - you leave that societal group. Van share groups are more intimate societies. Even riding in an airport shuttle is an intimate experience. Being so close to one another it almost feels rude not to speak. "Are you coming home or visiting." "Visiting." "Business or vacation." "Business." "Oh, what do you do." "I am executive VP for no name publishing. I am here to meet with some authors and their agents." "Wow, that is impressive." "Thanks." When travelling I enjoy making up a story. I have been a cardiac surgeon, lawyer, professional roller derby player, starving artist, Venice Beach street performer...I have lived in Santa Fe, New Mexico; Salt Lake City, Utah; Las Vegas, Nevada (Where of course I was a pit boss!) This is one of the great things about truly temporary societies. Odds are you will never see one another again so you can be whomever you choose. As we flow from one temp society to the next, our personas may also change. Riding in an elevator with people who work in the same building as you is not the same as riding in an elevator to see a Dr. At work you never really know who you are riding with or who they might know, caution is appropriate there. In the hospital elevator, or hotel elevator, shoot caution to the wind - reinvent yourself. Attendees of a concert or sporting event create a larger mini-society (like jumbo shrimp! Ha, I crack myself up)That larger society is subdivided by section, row, seat number, home team or visiting team - or the casual fan of the concert performer versus the die hard, never miss a show fan. The veteran fan versus the first timer. Airports, train stations, and malls are wonderful venues for watching the creation of and the extinction of temporary societies. Someone you meet in the restroom might also be on your train. You have a deep bond with this person. Depending on your occupation - there could be dozens of mini-societies present in your workplace - the "early bird catches the worm" folks. The coffee room regulars. Those who have lunch at the same scheduled time - these temporary societies are somewhat more permanent - If you work in a school each grade level becomes a society. Each floor becomes a society. What comitties you are on - temporary society. Over time a faculty becomes a society of greater permanence - teachers who have worked at the same school for 25-30 years. They may never socialize outside of work but there is a bond there. Administrators have their own society, office staff their own, building maintenance workers their own - the students form temporary societies that could last one minute or 5 years. Children are like that, quick to open and accept, equally quick to banish forever. Hospital ERs form societal connections. People waiting in an ER appear to want to talk. Crisis may increase our need to connect with those around us. We need to belong to a group when we are scared or vulnerable. The membership gives us some strength. Some comfort. ICU waiting rooms are especially tight knit. Within minutes new members are welcomed and made to feel supported and accepted. Church attendees form weekly societal groups. You may know one another from "around the way" but your conversation is limited to "Peace be with you" and "Enjoy the rest of your day." Churches are another place, like commuter buses and trains, where members stake claim to their section and row. Over time this becomes the norm by which all members follow. Coffee shops, dog parks, gyms, running paths, grocery stores...I could go on and on. We, homeo-sapiens are just fascinating. We move through our day by a script. We enter into and exit from a multitude of temporary mini-societies. We might be the same person across the spectrum or we may change from membership to membership. Isn't it fascinating? Do you ever think about such things? Do I have too much time on my hands? Actually not. There are entire books, college courses, even majors whose purpose is to study this temporary societies - to map them, analyze them, decipher what they tell us about us. How cool is that? I love people. We are fascinating.